What to expect when you're expecting: The 'fourth trimester'

You've just gone from carrying the baby around in your belly to now having to know how to take care of their every need and recognise which cry means what! As mentioned in the last article, everyone is required to stay at the hospital for a few days after birth, unless they sign you out early upon request.

While some parents are desperate to get back to their own home, it is a time where paediatricians, midwives and lactation consultants are at your disposable - so I do recommend that you stay and make the most of all the resources that are right there for you if you are first-time parents!

Fed is Best

There can be a lot of pressure to breastfeed your child, whether it's from the hospital or information online or from the people around you. Do your research before you give birth so you have an idea of what you would like to do, but also bear in mind that depending on the circumstances of your birth and your individual baby, it is not always guaranteed that you will be able to do so.

In that case, which formula would you like to use? The midwives will guide you but it's always a good idea to equip yourself with your own research, this is where dads can really take the reins and look into different options.

If you do choose to breastfeed, there are lactation specialists at the hospitals as well as midwives who specialise in lactation consulting. They will show you the different positions of breastfeeding that will suit your baby and your body, as well as explain when it is a good idea to start pumping and storing milk.

They can identify if your child is having trouble with their feeding and whether they are having difficulties such as tongue-tie.

Kine appointments

At your routine 6 week postpartum appointment with your gynaecologist, you may be given an ordinance for postnatal therapy, if you are not offered it, it's a good idea to ask. It’s a crucial time for your body's recovery and the physiotherapists who are trained in postnatal recovery will help with the recuperation of your pelvic floor, ab muscles and any other issues you may be experiencing.

It's important to take these appointments seriously as the way your body recovers can really hinder or facilitate a successful healing process. Your doctor will also advise you when you can’t start exercising, be intimate with your partner as well as what to do for birth control.

Postnatal allowance

This is the 3rd instalment of your birth allowance and will be paid provided the child has undergone 6 medical examinations by the time they reach the age of 2. All of which need to be carried out by a paediatric specialist, an internal medicine specialist or a general practitioner.

The postnatal allowance may be requested by the mother, father or any other person who exercises parental authority over the child. The application for postnatal allowance must be submitted within 1 year of the child's 2nd birthday.

Mental well-being

According to the World Health Organisation, approximately 10-15% of women suffer from postpartum depression in Europe and worldwide.

"After pregnancy, women experience a sudden drop in levels of estrogen, progesterone, and thyroid hormones. This change affects the sleep cycle and lays the groundwork for depression. Over time, if sleep doesn’t improve, this raises the likelihood of developing postpartum depression."- sleepfoundation.org

While baby blues are common when your hormone levels dip in the first 2 weeks after birth, you may continue to feel sad, hopeless or lose interest in things that normally bring you joy. Of course, there are numerous symptoms of postpartum depression and it can affect anyone so it is important that your partner, family and friends stay well connected with you.

As the experience of having a newborn is very testing, isolating and full of new challenges, it's helpful to connect with other new mothers who may be going through the same experiences.

In many cultures, the postpartum period is an important one for the mother's recovery to full health, mentally and physically. In European countries like Luxembourg, there can be more focus on the newborn baby whereas a lot of Asian countries recognise that mothers need to be well taken care of for at least 30 days postpartum.

There is an emphasis that the body has been through physical trauma and that the mother needs to recover the nutrients that were lost while she carried the baby to term and if she continues to breastfeed.

We're starting to see more of a holistic approach when it comes to postpartum for mothers and activities such as postpartum yoga, meditation and workshops are all helping to support the body and mind after childbirth.

Here are some resources that will help with this period

List of midwives: www.sages-femmes.lu

Luxmama is a non-profit organisation that offers social and educational events for parents and is a great way to meet other parents: www.luxmamaclub.com

Positive Birth Company

One of my favourite resources for postpartum is part of a recommendation from my prenatal article. The Positive Birth Company offer a digital pack that explains everything from infant feeding, sleeping, the mental health of new parents, physical recovery for vaginal, cesarean births and includes less commonly mentioned topics such as sex after birth, how to maintain your relationship as you move to the next phase of family life as well as how to cope with the exhaustion of the new routine!

While feeding the baby is incredibly important, so is feeding the mother. If your partner is unavailable, not in the picture or is back at work and unable to help with the cooking, you can ask a friend to organise a meal train for you. It works by organising a schedule so that at least one meal a day is taken care of by a different friend. Here's a handy website that helps you put it together.

Some books that help you prepare for postpartum:

'The Fourth Trimester' by Kimberly Ann Johnson
'The First Forty Days - The Essential Art of Nourishing a New Mother' by Heng Ou

Liewensufank is a non-profit association that aims to improve the conditions around childbirth and parenting. They offer courses, workshops and support for parents-to-be as well as young parents.

The group describes itself as "an additional support alongside midwifery consultations, or after the prescription ends" — with certified breastfeeding consultants, a tongue-tie specialist, and other helpful offers including a breast-feeding subscription. Their support is provided whenever needed and, as mentioned, does not require a medical prescription.

If you're stuck on anything related to the newborn or parenting, they would be a good point of contact. They also have a Baby Hotline (+352 36 05 98) to offer you advice but note that it is only available for a live chat from 09:00-11:30 Mon-Fri. They have different time schedules during school holidays – but otherwise you can leave a message on their answering machine or write an email and will get called back as soon as possible.

Baby Plus

Some communes offer a free service where a multilingual team will send someone to visit you to see where and how you can be offered more support. You can contact them at babyplus@liewensufank.lu

Le Leche League is an international organisation, recognised by WHO and Unicef, which specialises in breastfeeding and supports women in making it possible and easier. As well as offering advice and support, they organise breastfeeding groups where you can meet other mums who are also breastfeeding. There is a €5 fee for non-members.

Quoide9  are a series of guides issued by the government free of charge for new parents and parents-to-be. They are available at your gynaecologist clinic or they can be ordered here: www.quoide9.lu/les-guides/bon-de-commande

Luxembourg Daddies Group

For fathers, there is a group that was established in 2017, working and stay-at-home dads can meet with or without their kids and connect with other fathers. It’s a great way to build a community with other parents. They organise activities, get-togethers and have a Facebook group.

The full series

You can find Marina's recommendations and steps that you should remember to take before, during, and after delivery in the five parts of this series:

The first trimester
The second trimester
The third trimester
The "fourth trimester"
Childcare and beyond