The perils of overscheduling your child 

Do you ever feel like a taxi service? Ferrying your child from A to B as they go from handball practice to music lesson, from dance class to robotics group, with an additional tutoring session thrown in for good measure? It's no wonder that parental burnout is on the rise.

But what about our beloved offspring? How do they cope with their busy little lives? 

What is overscheduling? 

The name says it all. Cramming too many things into one's schedule. Overscheduling is essentially having too many extra-curricular activities, commitments or events in the calendar.

Overscheduling arises in various circumstances. For example, if your child enjoys lots of different things, they might want to become involved in as many groups as possible to suit all their hobbies and interests.

Sociable children might want to join lots of groups because they can spend more time with their friends. Children with high levels of motivation might want to sign up to every club possible.

Sometimes overscheduling is a parental choice. Some parents believe that it is a positive thing for their children to be busy all the time to keep them out of trouble, or to prevent them from becoming bored.

It also arises when parents feel societal pressure to enroll their children into a long list of groups to improve their future chances and get ahead of their peers (think Tiger Mom).

Spotting the signs of an overscheduled child 

If a child is overscheduled, they might start to show certain behavioural signs such as increased stress, anxiety, or fatigue. School grades might suffer if children lack time for homework.

Your child might feel frustrated that they don't have much time to play with their toys at home, or sad that they are not spending much time together as a family.

As a result of following strict routines and instructions, you might over time notice that your child is demonstrating less creativity during their leisure time, or that they cannot easily engage in imaginative play.

In the worst cases, children can experience burnout in the same way that adults do. Imagine having reached a place of complete exhaustion from trying to keep all those plates spinning. The result? A child who is drained, overwhelmed and demotivated.

How can I protect my child from overscheduling? 

Of course, there are many, many benefits to after school activities and extra-curricular groups: they promote a sense of belonging, encourage social interaction, boost self-esteem, improve academic skills, and look good on university and college applications.

The key is getting the balance. If you have considered the following points, then you're already doing something right!
 
Focus on quality not quantity 
Children can lose sight of the things they love if they feel they are being pulled in all directions. Guiding your child to engage in the thing they love the most and will get the most joy from is better than allowing or encouraging them to spread themselves too thinly. 
 
Make choices 
If your child can't choose between hip hop and ballet, don't cave in and let them do both. Help them make a choice – which is a life skill in itself! If there are two birthday party invitations waiting for an RSVP, say yes to just one.  
 
Protect family time 
If you feel like you don't spend enough time with your children because they are always out doing things, consider scheduling in some official family time. This kind of goes against the whole 'don't overschedule' thing, but in this case, it's a bit different! It's important to prioritise quality time – this could take the form of a family outing or simply having a cup of tea and a chat together. Don't forget the biscuits. 
 
Make time for doing nothing! 
All the research says that being bored is a good thing! Let your child have the afternoon at home and see what happens. OK, you might get the odd moan of "I'm boooooooored!" but you might be surprised at the results. Creativity often stems from moments of boredom. As does self-reflection (more likely in the case of older children). 
 
Free play 
Don't be afraid to let your child have a few hours on a regular basis to do what they want. Play with Lego, paint, bake, watch a film, read a book, play video games. Having proper downtime is how they will truly relax and unwind. For younger children, unstructured playtime is credited with the enhancement of social, emotional and cognitive skills such as strategic thinking and problem solving.

Time to reevaluate the family schedule? 

Every family unit is different and there is no one size fits all when it comes to scheduling the ideal number of activities. But it's worth remembering a few things.

Even if your child wants to sign up to every extra-curricular club on offer, striking a healthy balance between downtime and structured time is crucial for children's mental health.

Maybe your child loves attending all their different groups and activities and appears to be coping beautifully with their busy schedule. Nonetheless, it could be a good idea to check in with them regularly and see how their stress levels are.

Allowing your child to make choices about how to spend their free time can be hugely beneficial for them. Just hanging out at home, playing and chilling out with family and friends, is necessary to avoid stress or burnout.

And finally, dear parents, don't forget to look after yourselves! If you’re feeling the strain and haven’t had a moment to yourself in days, perhaps reducing the number of family commitments could be a good place to start.