12 June 2019
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Luxembourg chooses unlucky bastard to pay for entire free transport planSaying “well, someone has to do it,” Luxembourg officials have announced they have finally decided on a source of funding for the plan to make all public ...12/06/2019
5 June 2019
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Road engineer wins bet he can squeeze another lane into Route d’ArlonDemonstrating the spirit of Luxembourg’s motto “Let’s make it happen,” a VDL road engineer has won a challenge to fit another traffic lane into the ...05/06/2019
29 May 2019
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Majority of Luxembourg marathoners plan on using illegal third legA months-long investigation into the dark world of recreational running in Luxembourg has revealed that a majority of local marathoners who are competing ...29/05/2019
22 May 2019
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7 minerals other than Luxembourgite that were discovered hereThe discovery of a mineral dubbed Luxembourgite near an old mine earlier this year has received a lot of news coverage, but it’s not the only mineral the ...22/05/2019
16 May 2019
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Newcomers warned against accidental exposure to EurovisionLuxembourg officials are warning about a potentially strong outbreak of the Eurovision Song Contest this year, and they are advising newcomers — ...16/05/2019
9 May 2019
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EU employees lay flowers at site where thousands of unread reports are buriedIn commemoration of Europe Day in Luxembourg, a crowd of employees from European Union institutions gathered at a document burial site in Kirchberg to pay ...09/05/2019
3 May 2019
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Luxembourg to import hundreds of anarchist street punksResponding to complaints that the country is two shades too quiet, Luxembourg officials have announced a plan to import up to 500 anarchist street punks ...03/05/2019
1 May 2019
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Other notable expulsions from the Natural History MuseumLast weekend, a breastfeeding mother was asked to leave the National Museum of Natural History because she and her baby were breaking the museum’s “no ...01/05/2019
24 April 2019
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Expat family will literally do anything if told it’s ‘tradition’In a display of extreme willingness to integrate, a family that moved to Luxembourg earlier this year will literally do anything as long as they believe ...24/04/2019
16 April 2019
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Grandmother bakes cake for investment fund that bought house next doorHOWALD -- A local grandmother says she’s eager to meet the new owners of the house next door, and that she’s baking them one of her famous apple cakes to ...16/04/2019
11 April 2019
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Luxembourg invests €50 million to mine black holeProving that the country is keeping its eyes on the stars, Luxembourg has announced it has invested 50 million euros in a company that plans on mining a ...11/04/2019
3 April 2019
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Shocking discovery: hundreds of corporate juniors living in tunnel below KirchbergThe Luxembourg Wurst Shocking discovery: hundreds of corporate juniors living in tunnel below KirchbergKIRCHBERG -- Two sisters playing in a patch of trees have made a shocking discovery, one that will radically change our understanding of how those who ...03/04/2019
27 March 2019
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Queen Elizabeth casually asks Grand Duke Henri for Luxembourgish citizenshipLUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Explaining that she wanted to see a dear friend and ask for a little favour, on Wednesday Queen Elizabeth II paid an impromptu visit to ...27/03/2019
21 March 2019
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‘Individually wrapped strawberries,’ announces excited supermarket execA supermarket executive responsible for some of Luxembourg’s most popular individually wrapped fruits and vegetables has struck again, this time with ...21/03/2019
13 March 2019
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Woman frozen whole evening waiting for third cheek kissLUXEMBOURG-VILLE -- A woman who staunchly upholds the practice of three cheek kisses remained motionless for a whole evening when a friend stopped after ...13/03/2019
7 March 2019
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Luxembourg cyclists participate in Vëlobrennen to ensure good riding seasonRespecting a tradition that goes back to at least the 1750s, members of Luxembourg’s secretive cycling community are gathering this weekend in a private ...07/03/2019
27 February 2019
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Report: not one thing happened in Luxembourg todayA report issued by a consortium of Luxembourg’s largest news outlets has confirmed that nothing happened in Luxembourg today.27/02/2019
20 February 2019
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Wolf chooses to live in Belgium after seeing cost of dens hereA wolf that was sniffing around Luxembourg for a new den has announced that due to the high prices here, he and his pack have decided to live over the ...20/02/2019
13 February 2019
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Luxembourg man saves up to take girlfriend on exciting trip in taxiA local man who has been putting away money for a special trip has announced he is finally taking his girlfriend on the taxi ride they’ve always dreamed ...13/02/2019
6 February 2019
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Grown man destroyed by visit to Control TechniqueDespite weeks of intensive training to build his psychological endurance, a Luxembourg man has been left in a state of emotional ruin following a car ...06/02/2019
30 January 2019
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Gang of illegal car warmer-uppers operating in LuxembourgPolice in Luxembourg are asking the public to be on the lookout for members of a criminal gang who for weeks have been illegally warming up their cars in ...30/01/2019
23 January 2019
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Thousands of car worshippers arrive for Lux AutofestivalTravelling by foot from as far away as Brussels, thousands of car worshippers are flocking to Luxembourg this weekend for the start of the annual ...23/01/2019
16 January 2019
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New app warns pedestrians in crosswalk when car is about to hit themResponding to the increasing number of pedestrians in Luxembourg who are stuck to their smartphones and enter crosswalks without looking up, a local man ...16/01/2019
11 January 2019
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No one in bus courageous enough to confront teen about musicGASPERICH — In an incident that experts say proves that youth run the show, dozens of bus passengers were unable to muster the courage on Friday morning ...11/01/2019
4 January 2019
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Expat just assumed you were supposed to eat the porcelain thing inside ‘galette des rois’The Luxembourg Wurst Expat just assumed you were supposed to eat the porcelain thing inside ‘galette des rois’A man who has lived in the Grand Duchy for nearly a decade is recovering in hospital after having ingested dozens of porcelain figurines over the years. ...04/01/2019
28 December 2018
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British expat claiming he’s always fantasised of Luxembourgish passportA Briton who moved to the Grand Duchy a year ago and is desperately seeking the nationality has claimed that his desire to become Luxembourgish has ...28/12/2018
19 December 2018
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The 5 stages of grief when you realise you can’t afford a home in LuxembourgEach year, thousands of hardworking residents are struck by the realization that they will never be able to buy a home in Luxembourg. Sadly, few of these ...19/12/2018
14 December 2018
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Secret Santa surprises everyone in office with new cold virusHonouring the Christmas tradition of giving without seeking recognition, an anonymous employee at an insurance company in Luxembourg-ville spent the ...14/12/2018
7 December 2018
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Tips to safely enjoy your office Christmas partyIt’s December, that time of the year when companies thank their tired and overworked employees by hosting an obligatory six-hour dinner in the middle of a ...07/12/2018
30 November 2018
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Time traveller from future: today’s traffic ‘wonderful’LUXEMBOURG-VILLE -- An individual who was allegedly sent back from the year 2048 to issue a warning has been unable to fulfill her mission because she ...30/11/2018