22 October 2020
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Engineers figure out they can just put car wheels on tram insteadSaying “oops, pardon us,” Luxembourg City officials have admitted there’s no need to build expensive tram tracks when they can simply fit each tram with ...22/10/2020
15 October 2020
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Safety measures at this winter’s Christmas marketsLuxembourg City officials have confirmed that the beloved Christmas markets will indeed take place this winter. What measures will be taken to ensure the ...15/10/2020
8 October 2020
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Expat forced to endure several minutes of colleagues speaking LuxembourgishAn expat who works in Capellen is recovering after a scary, morale-threatening six-minute plunge into total Luxembourgish.08/10/2020
1 October 2020
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New Asian hornet immediately goes to expat Facebook group to ask for best internet providerThe Luxembourg Wurst New Asian hornet immediately goes to expat Facebook group to ask for best internet providerJust hours after moving to Luxembourg for a job, an Asian hornet joined a Facebook expats group to ask which is the best internet provider.01/10/2020
24 September 2020
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All bus drivers in Luxembourg are friends with each otherAll bus drivers in the Grand Duchy are friends with each other, as evidenced by the way they never fail to wave when their busses pass each other on the ...24/09/2020
17 September 2020
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Outrage after foyer employee ‘wore fake tattoos to get job’A Luxembourg City woman has been released from employment by a foyer scolaire after it was revealed that her arm tattoos, which are generally a ...17/09/2020
10 September 2020
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Students build car that can fit in Parking du ThéâtreA group of engineering students from the University of Wiltz have built a car that can actually be parked in Luxembourg City’s underground Parking du ...10/09/2020
3 September 2020
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‘Pfaffenthal’ given three more FsFollowing complaints that it doesn’t contain enough unnecessary letters, Luxembourg City officials have decided to give the Pfaffenthal neighborhood three ...03/09/2020
27 August 2020
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NASA unable to find signs of life in LuxembourgAfter spending nearly four weeks exploring the surface of Luxembourg City and its surroundings, a rover sent by the U.S. space agency NASA has failed to ...27/08/2020
20 August 2020
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Breaking News: Someone sneezed!Fear and confusion broke out across Luxembourg on Wednesday morning after someone sneezed, according to multiple reports.20/08/2020
13 August 2020
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Scientists create microscopic dog for Luxembourg grandmothersSaying that one of the country’s biggest problems has been solved, a team of scientists from Luxembourg have created the Nanohuahua, a microscopic dog ...13/08/2020
6 August 2020
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Government to fix housing crisis by asking people who already own property to shut up about itThe Luxembourg Wurst Government to fix housing crisis by asking people who already own property to shut up about itAdmitting that it’s impossible to make housing in Luxembourg more affordable, officials are instead asking everyone who already owns a home to shut up ...06/08/2020
30 July 2020
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The face maskini is hereAs Europeans flock to crowded beaches despite an ongoing pandemic, many women are wondering how they can stay safe without looking like a dentist about to ...30/07/2020
22 July 2020
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New Luxembourg Monopoly in which properties are all too expensive so game never endsThe Luxembourg Wurst New Luxembourg Monopoly in which properties are all too expensive so game never endsToy manufacturer Hasbro has released a new Luxembourg edition of its popular board game Monopoly. In this version, all the properties are so expensive ...22/07/2020
16 July 2020
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‘No cases, actually, none at all,’ reports mysterious new government officialFollowing reports that Germany and other countries are restricting entries from Luxembourg due to a growing number of COVID-19 cases in the Grand Duchy, a ...16/07/2020
9 July 2020
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Expat survives afternoon of shopping in Trier industrial zoneA wealthy expat from Luxembourg City who visited a store on the outskirts of Trier has described the experience as “a nightmare” and says she feared she ...09/07/2020
2 July 2020
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Satan takes back Irrgarten roundaboutSaying the diabolical traffic knot is too evil to be wasted on living souls anyway, the guardian of the underworld known as Satan has reclaimed the old ...02/07/2020
25 June 2020
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Virus wonders if host trying to get it drunkA COVID-19 virus particle hanging out on a Rollingen woman’s left hand has expressed concerns that she’s trying to get it drunk.25/06/2020
18 June 2020
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Luxembourgish ultra-nationalists demand newcomers say ‘moien’ more oftenA group of Luxembourgish ultra-nationalists gathered in the city center on Wednesday to demand that newcomers use the standard Luxembourgish greeting ...18/06/2020
11 June 2020
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Cleaning lady, man with a van find each otherSaying they’d “been looking for each other for a long time,” a local cleaning lady and a man with a van have found one other.11/06/2020
4 June 2020
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5 ways to ensure social distancing in the officeWith more office employees returning to work, employers are finding it difficult to ensure that everyone stays two meters from each other. Follow these ...04/06/2020
28 May 2020
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Old-timer expat recalls having to ask people on street for best internet providerThe Luxembourg Wurst Old-timer expat recalls having to ask people on street for best internet providerA woman who moved to Luxembourg before the existence of online expat support groups says today’s new arrivals need to understand how the rugged expats of ...28/05/2020
21 May 2020
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Neighbors agree to return to pre-pandemic levels of communicationAlthough Luxembourg residents say they’ve enjoyed getting to know their neighbors during the confinement period, it’s time to return to pre-pandemic ...21/05/2020
13 May 2020
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Thousands of freshly coiffured women applauding hairdressers every eveningAs deconfinement in Luxembourg slowly ends and hair salons once again open their doors, thousands of women and a few men with freshly cut, dyed, and ...13/05/2020
7 May 2020
29 April 2020
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Top 10 ways Luxembourg residents are preparing for deconfinementThe Luxembourg government has announced that steps towards deconfinement could begin within a couple of weeks. What are the top 10 ways residents are ...29/04/2020
23 April 2020
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Bettel to donate 200,001 of his scarves to help residents cover facesAdmitting that the paper face masks sent to all residents of the Grand Duchy might not last long, Prime Minister Xavier Bettel announced that he’s going ...23/04/2020
15 April 2020
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Desperate residents sneaking out to meet in public, ignore each otherDesperate to return to the era when they could be socially distant among other people, hundreds of Luxembourg City residents are breaking the lockdown ...15/04/2020
8 April 2020
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6 signs you may be losing your mindThese are difficult times. Many of us feel like we’re losing our minds. But are we really? Here are six signs.08/04/2020
2 April 2020
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‘One month equals 46,080 minutes,’ demonic child informs motherA child from Beggen who is clearly driven by evil and a desire to inflict pain on innocent people casually informed his mother on Wednesday evening that ...02/04/2020