21 January 2021
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Homes on sale for 125% of usual priceNow that the sales period has begun, property sellers in Luxembourg are offering homes for a solid fraction above their usual prices.21/01/2021
14 January 2021
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Rich and influential country can’t even pull a few strings to get vaccine fasterThe Luxembourg Wurst Rich and influential country can’t even pull a few strings to get vaccine fasterA wealthy, influential country whose capital is one of the three seats of power in the European Union is unable to pull a few strings to get its residents ...14/01/2021
7 January 2021
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Massive operation to collect, preserve snow for futureFollowing last week’s crystallized precipitation that is being described as “too precious to lose to rising temperatures,” a massive operation has been ...07/01/2021
31 December 2020
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New gun capable of vaccinating 500 people per minuteCiting the need to reopen society as soon as possible before we all lose our minds, an engineer from Luxembourg has developed a vaccination gun capable of ...31/12/2020
24 December 2020
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‘Santa accidentally sent me Amazon gift cards meant for you,’ grandma explains on ZoomThe Luxembourg Wurst ‘Santa accidentally sent me Amazon gift cards meant for you,’ grandma explains on ZoomWearing an impeccable poker face, a grandmother from abroad has explained in a Zoom session with her Luxembourg grandkids that Santa Claus accidentally ...24/12/2020
17 December 2020
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‘Meteor’ just man racing to get home before 11 p.m. curfewWhat appeared to be a meteor shooting through the sky above Luxembourg on Tuesday night turned out to be a driver racing to get home before curfew.17/12/2020
10 December 2020
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Man begs dominatrix to escalate pain by showing him property listingsA Luxembourg City man who was approaching the end of a session with a professional dominatrix has begged her to escalate his pain by showing him local ...10/12/2020
3 December 2020
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Couple turn into gelatinous blobs after 1 week with no gymUnable to work out since their gym was ordered to close last week, a fitness-loving couple from Capellen have turned into blobs of untoned flesh.03/12/2020
26 November 2020
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Woman working from home still blaming traffic for being late every morningA woman who invariably blames traffic for being late to work every day is still using the excuse, even now that she’s working from home.26/11/2020
19 November 2020
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How to survive without IkeaWith the Ikea near Arlon still closed, many Luxembourg residents have been forced to delay their furnishing and redecorating projects, causing them to ...19/11/2020
12 November 2020
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Luxembourg described as ‘fun’ for first timeSurprising even its staunchest defenders, for the first time Luxembourg is being described as the most exciting travel destination in Europe.12/11/2020
5 November 2020
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Poor Luxembourger bravely fighting stereotype against his willA Luxembourger who has struggled financially his whole life is bravely fighting the stereotype that all Luxembourgers are rich, albeit against his will....05/11/2020
29 October 2020
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Mask dropped in forest grows into little mask treeIn what’s being called “The Miracle in the Mullerthal,” a mask that was discarded along a trail several months ago has grown into a wonderful little mask ...29/10/2020
22 October 2020
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Engineers figure out they can just put car wheels on tram insteadSaying “oops, pardon us,” Luxembourg City officials have admitted there’s no need to build expensive tram tracks when they can simply fit each tram with ...22/10/2020
15 October 2020
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Safety measures at this winter’s Christmas marketsLuxembourg City officials have confirmed that the beloved Christmas markets will indeed take place this winter. What measures will be taken to ensure the ...15/10/2020
8 October 2020
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Expat forced to endure several minutes of colleagues speaking LuxembourgishAn expat who works in Capellen is recovering after a scary, morale-threatening six-minute plunge into total Luxembourgish.08/10/2020
1 October 2020
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New Asian hornet immediately goes to expat Facebook group to ask for best internet providerThe Luxembourg Wurst New Asian hornet immediately goes to expat Facebook group to ask for best internet providerJust hours after moving to Luxembourg for a job, an Asian hornet joined a Facebook expats group to ask which is the best internet provider.01/10/2020
24 September 2020
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All bus drivers in Luxembourg are friends with each otherAll bus drivers in the Grand Duchy are friends with each other, as evidenced by the way they never fail to wave when their busses pass each other on the ...24/09/2020
17 September 2020
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Outrage after foyer employee ‘wore fake tattoos to get job’A Luxembourg City woman has been released from employment by a foyer scolaire after it was revealed that her arm tattoos, which are generally a ...17/09/2020
10 September 2020
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Students build car that can fit in Parking du ThéâtreA group of engineering students from the University of Wiltz have built a car that can actually be parked in Luxembourg City’s underground Parking du ...10/09/2020
3 September 2020
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‘Pfaffenthal’ given three more FsFollowing complaints that it doesn’t contain enough unnecessary letters, Luxembourg City officials have decided to give the Pfaffenthal neighborhood three ...03/09/2020
27 August 2020
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NASA unable to find signs of life in LuxembourgAfter spending nearly four weeks exploring the surface of Luxembourg City and its surroundings, a rover sent by the U.S. space agency NASA has failed to ...27/08/2020
20 August 2020
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Breaking News: Someone sneezed!Fear and confusion broke out across Luxembourg on Wednesday morning after someone sneezed, according to multiple reports.20/08/2020
13 August 2020
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Scientists create microscopic dog for Luxembourg grandmothersSaying that one of the country’s biggest problems has been solved, a team of scientists from Luxembourg have created the Nanohuahua, a microscopic dog ...13/08/2020
6 August 2020
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Government to fix housing crisis by asking people who already own property to shut up about itThe Luxembourg Wurst Government to fix housing crisis by asking people who already own property to shut up about itAdmitting that it’s impossible to make housing in Luxembourg more affordable, officials are instead asking everyone who already owns a home to shut up ...06/08/2020
30 July 2020
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The face maskini is hereAs Europeans flock to crowded beaches despite an ongoing pandemic, many women are wondering how they can stay safe without looking like a dentist about to ...30/07/2020
22 July 2020
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New Luxembourg Monopoly in which properties are all too expensive so game never endsThe Luxembourg Wurst New Luxembourg Monopoly in which properties are all too expensive so game never endsToy manufacturer Hasbro has released a new Luxembourg edition of its popular board game Monopoly. In this version, all the properties are so expensive ...22/07/2020
16 July 2020
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‘No cases, actually, none at all,’ reports mysterious new government officialFollowing reports that Germany and other countries are restricting entries from Luxembourg due to a growing number of COVID-19 cases in the Grand Duchy, a ...16/07/2020
9 July 2020
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Expat survives afternoon of shopping in Trier industrial zoneA wealthy expat from Luxembourg City who visited a store on the outskirts of Trier has described the experience as “a nightmare” and says she feared she ...09/07/2020
2 July 2020
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Satan takes back Irrgarten roundaboutSaying the diabolical traffic knot is too evil to be wasted on living souls anyway, the guardian of the underworld known as Satan has reclaimed the old ...02/07/2020