What to expect when you're expecting: The third trimester

As maternity leave starts 8 weeks before the due date, a lot of mothers use this time to prepare for their new arrival. Whether it’s decorating the nursery or ordering the car seats and prams, it can feel really overwhelming.

Do ask friends and family who have been through the process to see if there's anything they would recommend doing and don't be afraid to ask salespeople at the baby shops for honest opinions and personal experiences.

The delivery

While home births are not common for first births in Luxembourg, they are more easily facilitated for a 2nd birth and thereafter. You will need to research a midwife who will support you in this process as it is not something that all midwives will do.

Similarly, if you would like to give birth in a non-clinical environment such as a birthing centre, your best chance of that is to look for a birthing centre across the border as there are currently none in Luxembourg.

For some mothers this is the preferred choice as the environment is closer to the natural way of giving birth and therefore encourages more endorphins for the mother, leading to what is usually considered as a more natural birth.

A Birth Doula is a professional who offers you support during your delivery and can help guide you through your expectations and what you want your birth to look like. Doulas, like home births, are not common at the moment in this country and the current guideline is that there should only be one birth partner present at the time of delivery.

Of course you could have a doula instead of your partner. If you would like to have more than one person present you will have to inform the hospital and your doctor ahead of time and ask for permission. It is not always permitted unfortunately.

Here is a list of Doulas who will be able to give you more information on how the process is currently handled and how they can assist you.

Opening a file

After your 6 month check-up and consultation, you will be asked to call the hospital to open a file where you will submit a birth plan as well as a consultation with an anesthetist about your expectations and any questions you have regarding pain relief.

Your birth plan should be concise, polite and very clear. It is a way for the midwives and doctors on duty to quickly see what kind of birth you are expecting to have and how they can best accommodate you.

Things you may want to include in your plan are whether or not you will want to have pain relief (in Luxembourg the only medicinal form is the epidural), whether you would like to labour in the pool, whether you want a water birth (although this is something you would have informed your own doctor about quite early on too), whether you want delayed umbilical cord clamping after birth and whether the father will do skin-to-skin with the baby immediately after the delivery.

You may also want to indicate who will cut the umbilical cord and any other more specific requirements you have.

Don’t worry about getting too much down on paper beforehand, your appointment when you open your file will include a sit-down with a midwife to talk through your preferences.

A routinely 3rd ultrasound is conducted around 32-33 weeks of your pregnancy, you will also get a weight estimation of the fetus and Doppler measurements in the umbilical cord at this stage too.

As the end of your pregnancy approaches, you will have a weekly CTG, blood pressure and urine test from 35 weeks on. Each day that you go over your due date, you will be advised to go to your clinic for a CTG and blood pressure monitoring.

Hypnobirthing

Hypnobirthing has become increasingly popular in recent years. It uses methods of controlled breathing, meditation, visualisation as well as various other techniques to help the mother (and even fathers) cope with the anxieties and fears that come with birth.

While the practices encourage the birth process to be as natural as possible, epidural, induction and hypnobirthing are not mutually exclusive.

From my own personal experience, despite having an induction and an epidural, hypnobirthing practices and techniques really helped me to prepare for the birth in general and the breathing was useful for the delivery too.

There are several places in Luxembourg providing classes for hypnobirthing for both parents. They can be expensive as they are not reimbursed by the CNS and as a couple, we didn’t find that it was the best environment for us to learn about the techniques.

What I do highly recommend, however, is an online class by a company called The Positive Birth Company that is affordable and the videos could be watched over and over again. I learned a lot using their digital pack and the parts that I felt were important to be watched by my birthing partner, I watched again with him.

It's also a great gift for anyone you know who is nervous or anxious about giving birth.

Midwife

You should already have received a list of midwives and you can find more through recommendations. You will then get a written prescription from your doctor for a postpartum midwife who comes to visit you at home and weigh your baby as well as check on how the mother is healing. The number of visits varies from person to person.

The role of the midwife after birth should not be taken lightly, while it seems that they are there to answer questions that you have, they are also there to check on your general well-being. A midwife I know often asks the mother to dress and undress the baby, to feed the baby in front of her, all while chatting with the mother.

She says that it is a good opportunity for her to observe the mental state and mood of the mother, she looks for clues that the mother may need additional support at home after the father has gone back to work or in some cases that they may have developed postpartum depression. 

The hospital bag

The hospital stay for most births is 3 days, longer if you have complications or a C section. You will receive a list when you open your file at the hospital.

As well as the essentials, you may also want to bring some home comforts, such as your own pillow, some essential oils, your own sanitary pads and disposable underwear as well as snacks from home.

Photos

Hospitals in Luxembourg offer a newborn photography service so you can capture the moments of the baby's first days. You may also want some of yourselves as a new family.

Personally I didn't want the photos to be in a hospital environment and was not quite camera ready! Instead I organised for a photographer to come to the house a week later when we were more settled.

For dads

The big moment is just around the corner now. You can feel a little lost in the process as most of the work is being done by the mother, but don't take your eye off the ball, you're very much needed. We were given the advice to take several babygrows (in different sizes) and keep them in our bed for a week before the birth, this means the baby can familiarise themselves with a smell that they already know from the womb.

In a well researched study, a baby was placed between two t-shirts just after birth. One had been worn by the father and the other by a random man, the babies rolled to the father's t-shirt every time. They know who you are because your body has synced with the mother's and the hormones released by the body are recognised by your infant!

You may also want to think about wearing a zip up jumper to make the skin-to-skin process easier. In most cases there is a roll-out bed for you in the private rooms should you wish to stay overnight.

You will be responsible for bringing things to and from home and most importantly, you will likely be expected to prepare the car seat for the first journey home! The midwives expect to see that the baby is well settled and secure in the seat before discharging the mother and baby so your moment to shine is right here!

The full series

You can find Marina's recommendations and steps that you should remember to take before, during, and after delivery in the five parts of this series:

The first trimester
The second trimester
The third trimester
The "fourth trimester"
Childcare and beyond