Advice from a psychologist on dealing with educational pressure

When your child struggles at school, the challenge can ripple far beyond the classroom. It can affect confidence, motivation, and even cause burnout, explains psychologist and equine specialist (horse handler) Nadia Hernandez.

She brings a unique perspective to this issue, blending her expertise in human psychology with the lessons learned from working with horses and understanding their intuitive wisdom. She offers insights on what can cause learning challenges, how to support emotional wellbeing, and creating a home environment where children can thrive, both academically and personally.

"Horses are very honest mirrors", says Hernandez. "They are a powerful inspiration and tool in my work. If a child becomes frustrated while riding, the horse responds immediately. I've had to stop sessions to give a student time to calm down before continuing on the horse. Learning to self-regulate in that context transfers directly to school situations – it's about managing emotions to keep learning effectively."

Hernandez grew up here in Luxembourg and was always "horse crazy". While studying psychology at university in Scotland, she spent weekends volunteering at stables and reading everything she could about horses.

Later, she got some work experience at a riding school in Luxembourg, teaching small children. That's when she saw the potential to combine her two passions: human wellbeing and harnessing the profound intuition of horses.

"Over time, I earned masters degrees in both Equine Science and Health Psychology, and today I run two branches of my business – one supporting people (especially students and burnout cases) and another coaching in the equestrian world."

© Nadia Hernandez

Keeping up academically

In her work with students, Hernandez says that many children struggle with the pace and structure of school, which can make it hard to keep up academically.

She has observed that ADHD comes up frequently, followed closely by dyslexia, noting that anxiety and low self-esteem often accompany these learning challenges.

"I also see a lot of extreme anxiety, which isn't a learning disability in itself but massively impacts learning. Social media plays a huge role here. Kids are in a constant state of comparison. Their dopamine systems are overstimulated, and they often can't 'reset' mentally. This leaves them emotionally dysregulated – always on edge and quick to either act out or withdraw. So, what that means is it's very difficult for them to come back to a baseline of calm."

Breeding ground for mental health issues

"Children are coming into a learning environment so wrapped up in this culture of comparison and constantly kind of measuring themselves against what's coming up on social media", she said.

"So, we already have children that are really, really sensitised in a way that previous generations weren't. I think that that is already a breeding ground for a lot of mental health issues that kind of already set the system up for difficulty learning."

"When I listen to students and I see the kind of context that they exist in within the school system now, I think back to how it was when I was at school, which was not that long ago. I finished school twelve years ago but I think that the culture is very, very different now because there's a lot more influence from social media then when I was at school."

"I think that there's a slight disconnect for the moment between the reality of what children are actually going through at school with all of these factors playing in – learning disabilities, the emotional mental health component, and this kind of new social culture that exists. Also, with how the school system works because it has changed so fast and there hasn't really been enough time for the school system to catch up to meet this new kind of norm."

Early burnout

Grades, tests, and deadlines can intensify this unease, and Hernandez explains that burnout often begins at a very young age.

"It's not something that just happens from one day to the next. Essentially, when the onus is put on the results and the performance of an individual, especially a child, they tie their self-worth to the results or the grades that they get. This is particularly true when we consider the context of being in such a state of social comparison all of the time."

"The problem is the milestones that are imposed by a school system are not individualised, and they are determined by essentially pass or fail. It doesn't leave room for an individualised learning process."

"Chronic stress can happen because we are expecting all of our children to fit into a square when some of them need triangles, circles, rectangles, zigzags, lightning bolts, or flowers. And the learning process has to be broken down into much smaller steps so that they are building confidence as well, and they can put the building blocks up correctly in order to then be at the level that is required by the system."

Parental insight is essential

Hernandez stresses the value of maintaining consistent strategies at home, and she often follows up with her clients' parents to offer guidance and support.

"Open communication is key. I'll often check in with parents about things like phone use, sleep, and overall routines. Sometimes kids underestimate their own screen time, so parental insight is essential. The goal is to create a joined-up approach between home and any support they receive from me."

Home being the foundation, Hernandez says that by ensuring it is an emotionally safe space parents can help support positive learning outcomes.

"The aim is to build resilience, focus, and self-belief without adding pressure. If your child feels safe, valued, and understood at home, they'll be far better equipped to face the challenges of school."

Key advice to support your child

• Validate their worth beyond grades. Remind them they're loved and valued no matter the results.
• Encourage emotional regulation. For example, if frustration builds during homework, take a walk, or have a water break before returning.
• Model healthy phone habits. Show that it's okay to be without devices for periods of time.
• Provide a calm workspace. A quiet, organised environment helps focus.