Simon Till says he now faces an impossible situation, one he believed only happened to other people in faraway lands or hundreds of years ago: his cleaning lady has called in sick – leaving him feeling confused and afraid.
“Growing up, we’d sit around the fireplace,” he said. “My parents would tell us stories about when grandad had to re-trim the hedges because the gardener had done a crap job, or when gran was forced to mind the children for a month because the nanny had run off to marry a flamenco dancer named Amancio.”
Till says that one of the more outlandish stories he remembers was about when his grandparents’ cleaning lady called in sick for a whole week, obligating the couple to take on the duty themselves.
“I was sure that my parents were exaggerating for dramatic effect, perhaps trying to entertain or frighten me and my siblings,” Till said. “No. I realise now, all too late, that they were telling me about what might come to be in my own lifetime.”
“If only I had listened better, I might have developed the fortitude and resourcefulness to get through this,” he continued. “These are the hard times they were trying to warn me about.”
To invoke the spirit of all those in his family who had faced similar hardship before him, Till put out framed photos of his grandparents and great-grandparents, lit votive candles, and asked for their guidance.
“Five hours of sitting in front of those candles, and I didn’t get a response,” he said.
Despondent, Till then consulted the internet where he was overwhelmed with TikToks about how to clean, which products to get, and which to avoid. With his newfound knowledge, he went to the supermarket and made the journey from the entrance to the cleaning product aisle.
“As my ancestors braved this long, lonely road, so too shall I,” he said.
