Help, my baby won't sleep at night!

If you're one of the lucky few whose babies have slept through the night since their newborn days, this is not the article for you! But if your baby is waking up every hour, you're considering a coffee drip, and your biceps are ready to rival Rafael Nadal's simply from rocking your offspring through the despair, look no further. We asked a child sleep expert to share her best tips and tricks to improve your child's night-time sleep.

Having a child who doesn't sleep through the night is not an ordeal to be taken lightly. The accumulation of fatigue, in addition to the physical burden, is often accompanied by feelings of helplessness and guilt. Why is this happening? What have we done wrong, and why won't our child sleep like others?

"Unless there is a serious health concern, but I stress this is rare, all children can sleep through the night," says French sleep expert Marianne Bertrel. The early childhood specialist offers parents remote consultations to help with their child's sleep, and recently agreed to share her best tips with RTL.

How do we define "sleeping through the night"?

"Every child is different, but generally we say a baby sleeps through the night when they sleep 6 or 7 hours in a row without waking up to feed. Personally, I have another definition. For me it's when a child sleeps according to their needs. A six-month-old needs at least 11 or 12 hours of sleep a night, during which they may have short waking periods of less than 20 minutes at a time, to have a feed," Bertrel explains.

"Melatonin, the sleep hormone, is secreted from 6-7pm until around 4am, and it drops to its lowest level at around 8am. So it's best to respect this cycle - it will help with sleep."

Why does my baby cry at night?

"There's always a reason. Is your baby crying because they're unwell, or teething? Or crying because they are tired - in this case, we refer to it as an emotional outburst, so it's important to accommodate these tears and be present to reassure the baby."

"There are also sometimes night terrors, when the baby cries at the start of the night. These are a sign of advanced sleep debt, or serious accumulated fatigue."

"Babies also make little cries when they're in a deep sleep. So you have to check if the child is sleeping or awake, because if the parent intervenes when the baby is sleeping deeply, it will disrupt their sleep. The child won't understand why they've been woken up, and even if they seemed unhappy or uncomfortable in their sleep, it is likely the moment would have passed anyway if they were left to continue sleeping. If these interventions repeatedly happen too early, then it risks creating a wake-up conditioning for the baby."

Is it a good idea to sleep with your baby in the same room?

"The World Health Organisation recommends keeping your baby in the same room as you for up to six months, but there is no absolute rule. You have to adapt according to your baby, because some children struggle to sleep if there is an adult in the room. But others will sleep much better if they are in the same room as their parents even after six months."

"As a general rule, however, children are quite capable of sleeping in their own room, so the environment really counts here. You want to create a cocoon of calm in their room, avoiding noisy or moving distractions, which can affect your child's sleep quality."

Should I top up my baby's feeds before bedtime?

"Babies need to be fed throughout 24 hours, including at night, until they weigh at least 6 kilograms. But this doesn't mean that night-time feeds stop when they reach this weight, there are other criteria to keep in mind. Weaning, or offering a more diverse diet, will help a child to increase the amount of calories they consume during the day and therefore help them to gradually reduce their milk intake overnight."

"However, you should not add cereal to their bottle, or increase the amount of milk at their bedtime feed, because this will make it harder for your baby to digest at night. Instead, try increasing quantities at breakfast, lunch, and snack-time to help fill them up."

Advice for parents who feel guilty?

"Each child and parent has their own story. They might have experienced difficulties in their past, in childbirth, during the newborn phase... I have three children myself and all three had completely different sleep habits."

"To tell you the truth, I thought I had figured out everything about sleep with my first child...but then my second child opened my eyes!" laughs Bertrel. "This inspired me to re-train with a focus on becoming a parental support specialist for sleep. In short, we have to relieve parents of this guilt, it's not their fault!"