The Luxembourg WurstMattel to release Luxembourg Expat Barbie

Luxembourg Expat Barbie will come with a dozen designer outfits, all with labels found on the Grand-Rue. While some of the outfits will match, many won’t in order to reflect the reality that many transplants didn’t grow up wearing expensive clothes and haven’t yet mastered the art.

The figure will be installed with a voice box capable of making 12 common utterances ranging from “moien, uh bonjour, um, do you speak English?” to “I unconditionally love Luxembourg” to “I unconditionally hate Luxembourg.”

Also included in the package:

• Hundreds of tiny eco-sacks, as many foreign-born residents forget to bring them back to shops and end up buying a new one each visit

• A certificate demonstrating that the doll has achieved a B1.1 level of Luxembourgish although she cannot actually speak the language and has yet to use it in public

• Keys to a four-bedroom house in Mamer (sold separately)

• A functioning smart phone with an expats support group page pre-installed so that Luxembourg Expat Barbie will never have to ask anyone outside of her peer group for help

• A new luxury car with dings from trying to fit into parking spots much smaller than those in Barbie’s country of origin

The release of Luxembourg Expat Barbie will be followed next year by Luxembourg Cross-Border Worker Barbie, which be similar except that her car will be a 2011 model and she’ll appear with dark circles under her eyes from having to wake up at 4:35 a.m. to make it to work in Luxembourg City on time.

Also rumoured to be in the works is Luxembourg Immigrant Barbie, which will look exactly the same as Luxembourg Expat Barbie but will simply be marketed under a different name.

Read more at wurst.lu

Photo credit: Pixabay / JP Gomez