Why can't people just stop talking at concerts?

As a passionate fan of live music, you will regularly find me attending at least one or two concerts a week. The reasons vary: sometimes it's just to enjoy a good gig, relax after a hard day's work, or maybe even discover the next big thing in music.

At recent gigs, however, a bunch of loudmouths have ruined my night.

Standing in the back with a beer in hand, I frequently find myself shouldering a blaring individual. Occasionally it's mother and daughter discussing the latest Kardashian gossip, sometimes a couple where the man bought the ticket for his new girlfriend but actually doesn't want to be there himself, flirting and taking selfies from start to finish, or a full on family that brought their nephews and cousins along to their social gathering.

Preferring to listen to music rather than to their problems, I kindly remind them with a soft "shush" to please be quiet. What do I get in return? A big stare and careless shrug before they turn back and say: "SO, how have YOU been?"

After moving to the Netherlands, I realised we in Luxembourg are not alone. The Dutch have been dealing with chatty folk at concerts themselves, and have come up with an ingenious solution: "Lul-niet-lollies", roughly translated to "shut up lollipops", are being distributed for free at 22 venues around the country. Open the wrapper, enjoy your lollipop, stop talking and enjoy the music. It's that easy, and it works.

The original Dutch "Lul-niet-lollie" / © Facebook Paard Den Haag

The science behind concert chatter

Concert chatter is definitely not a new phenomenon, often also depending on the genre and audience. It is most prominent in folk, pop, and rock, and less so in classical, jazz and metal (good luck chatting during the latter, I can't hear you anyway).

The Guardian's "indie professor" Wendy Fonarow has studied this issue and noticed some common patterns. In her article, she writes that those closest to the stage are often the youngest and biggest fans, and thus rarely talk.

All the way in the back of the venue are those who don't like the show, along with industry professionals. Interestingly enough, Fonarow writes that often these same professionals - promoters, managers, agents, musicians, journalists etc - use the shows as a network opportunity. Hold on, there. The ones who run this business are the loudest?

Another important factor is whether the venue has a bar within the concert hall itself, as this will add to the chatter. Individuals with a low threshold of boredom will go and grab a drink, meet a colleague at the bar and catch up. As a result, many newly built venues have placed their bars in the entrance hall.

Finally, it has come to my attention that especially the support acts, or concert openers, are suffering the most; they are often neglected by the crowd as people didn't come for them specifically. What many don't know, however, is that you can hear chatter up on stage as a musician very well, as Lil Wayne clearly demonstrated:

Lil Wayne Tells Screaming Fan To Be Quiet

Shut Up Lollipops in Luxembourg?

Luxembourg could use a good lollipop distributor at all its venues, I would say. It is time to make the change to save both the live music business and teach the audience how to listen again.

But while we are still waiting I'll just have to start moving more to the front, away from the journalists...

Josh Oudendijk is an Editor for RTL Today and a recording & touring musician.