Tips for building meaningful connections and maintaining good mental well-being

Valentine’s Day brings a blend of emotions for many. While some couples embrace the chance to celebrate their love, others believe that a relationship should be celebrated every day, not just on one single occasion.

For many, it can also be an emotionally challenging day, especially if they are not currently in a relationship. For those without a partner, Valentine's Day can amplify feelings of loneliness or highlight their desire for a romantic connection.

Dating can be particularly difficult in a small country like Luxembourg, a place where people often come and go. The transient nature of this can make it difficult to build deep, lasting connections, leaving people feeling lonely, frustrated, or even hopeless about finding a stable relationship. The emotional toll of investing in someone who might leave soon can be significant, and it often requires a great deal of resilience and self-compassion to work through.

Here are some tips to protect your mental health while navigating the maze of dating life.

1. Avoid dating multiple people at the same time

When you’re dating many people at once, you cannot truly pay attention to anyone. It's challenging to maintain fascinating conversations with three or five people simultaneously and actually remain continuously interested in every single one of them.

In such a situation, you may only be partially invested in these interactions, so if one disappears, with four others remaining, you may feel less affected. Many claim to be seeking genuine, deep emotional connections, however during my psychological sessions I observed that people tend to fragment their attention to avoid significant disappointments.

Simultaneously chatting with many people acts as a tool for emotional regulation: the desire to avoid loneliness and difficult emotions drives individuals to seek constant stimulation, which prevents them from delving into these challenging feelings. They cannot immerse themselves in a conversation with only one person, because what if the other person doesn't find them likeable enough and decides to end the interaction? As a result, they feel compelled to divert their attention elsewhere.

2. When you go on a date, you're not meeting a ‘judge’, there's no need to ‘perform’ and be someone you're not

It's perfectly fine to want to show your best self, but don't forget that you are both imperfect people – and that's okay. Take your time to truly get to know each other. Focusing solely on self-presentation can cause us to overlook whether the other person’s values, thoughts, or actions truly align with our own beliefs and what we seek in a relationship.

When a first date goes well, and we feel an initial attraction, we often shift our focus to meeting the other person’s expectations, rather than exploring deeper compatibility. This can lead us to neglect important aspects, such as shared values and long-term goals. When we notice these differences, the initial spark or attraction may cloud our judgment.

A strong connection goes beyond attraction – mutual respect, shared values, and genuine understanding are the values that can create a lasting foundation. Take time to discover who the other person truly is and whether they fit the kind of partnership you truly desire.

3. Practice active listening

Show genuine interest in what your date is saying. Paying close attention and listening actively can make conversations feel more relaxed and authentic. Active listening goes beyond just hearing the words; it’s about fully engaging with the speaker and showing empathy. When you listen attentively, you signal that you value the other person’s thoughts and feelings, which fosters trust and a deeper connection.

Remember to avoid interrupting and give the other person the space to express themselves. Pauses in conversation can allow for reflection and more meaningful responses. You can also ask follow-up questions that show you're invested in understanding their point of view and personal experiences. This approach not only helps you learn more about your date but also demonstrates emotional maturity and respect.

4. Practice self-care activities

In general, it is very helpful to shift your focus to positive thoughts and break negative thinking cycles. This helps you stay grounded in the present moment, nourishing both your soul and your body. Whether it's relaxation, yoga, exercise, a good bath, or other hobbies, practicing these regularly can help maintain good mental well-being.

Self-care activities can also be helpful when feeling emotionally overwhelmed by the desire to have a partner, which might lead to feelings of frustration, sadness, anger, or impatience. Additionally, engaging in a self-care activity before going on a date can boost your self-confidence.

Valentine's Day may emphasise the importance of romantic connections, and the journey of dating is unique for everyone, especially in a small country like Luxembourg. The pursuit of love can sometimes feel daunting and it’s essential to remember that your worth isn’t tied to your relationship status.

By practicing self-care, focusing on meaningful connections, and nurturing emotional resilience, you can protect your mental health and cultivate a fulfilling dating experience. Above all, be patient with yourself, knowing that love comes in many forms and the right connecting is worth the wait.

Anita Balázs-Miklovicz is a Clinical Health Psychologist, sharing insights on mental well-being.