Values, boundaries, fears: Strategies for successfully raising an expat family

Moien everyone! I am back with the new season of your favourite local podcast, Mom Life in Luxembourg! From crèches to crémant, we are covering everything you need to know about raising kids and living your best life in the Grand Duchy.

If you are new here, welcome! And if you have been listening for some time, I want to start off by saying thank you so much. Your positive reviews and encouragement definitely keeps me going. I can't believe that Mom Life in Luxembourg is one year old!

To kick off the new season, I thought I'd start with something rather deep. If you're listening to this podcast, chances are that you're being tasked (or will be tasked soon) with raising an expat family.

It's really a unique challenge and an opportunity to raise kids as a foreigner. It's something that your friends back home definitely won't understand, and it's something that you may not necessarily want to confide in with your community here. 

Or maybe, you're just in survival mode and literally too busy to put your head up and even be conscious of this monumental task that you're chipping away at, for better or worse, every single day. 

So today on the show I've brought in Angela Vitiello, founder and owner of 'The Expat Parenting Collective,' which helps individuals, families and groups cope and thrive in the expat experience. She says raising a successful expat family starts with clear communication between the couple.

Honestly, this felt really refreshing to hear because in my experience most people say it starts with yourself. Although, of course, caring for yourself and being honest with yourself is definitely a huge piece in making a family run successfully! 

She says that starting before your big move abroad, but also regularly before you get here, you need to have conversations with your partner about your "values, boundaries, and fears."

Personal note: I did none of this before moving abroad, but I literally went home the night after the recording and discussed this with my husband!

An example of a boundary might be 'I don't want to move to a country where I need to learn another language.' An example of a fear might be 'I am afraid my kids won't identify with their home country when we ultimately move back.'

The purpose of these talks isn't necessarily to solve anything, but it's more to be aware and see if there’s a middle ground the couple can agree on. She also suggests getting the kids involved in these conversations as early as possible in an age appropriate way. 

But that's not all! We cover the whole expat identity experience, starting from when you're new here to if and when you make the decision that you want to stay – specifically in this case in Luxembourg – and what that does to your identity. What that means for your kids, your parents, and your extended family. We also talk about ways to connect to self and the somatic experience. 

Time is money and health is wealth. This is an episode where I learned a ton, and I am sure you will too. Check the episode out right below or click here, and let me know what you think! 

You can find me on Instagram or Facebook @momlifeinluxembourg. And if you want to learn more about Angela Vitello, please visit her at The Expat Parenting Collective, or check out the show notes in the podcast. 

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