In late January, the president of the association Mäi Wëllen, mäi Wee (“My will, my path”), Jean-Jacques Schonckert, spoke to RTL Radio about euthanasia and assisted suicide in Luxembourg.
As of 2023, the Grand Duchy is one of just four countries in Europe where active voluntary euthanasia is legal (the others are Belgium, the Netherlands, and Spain). When the Chamber of Deputies legalised euthanasia in 2009, Luxembourg became the third country in the world to do so.
And yet, it seems that in the 14 years since this landmark decision, we as a society still struggle to embrace this progressive policy. “Death remains a taboo subject,” Schonckert said during his interview.
Why are we still so afraid of death? And is it worth overcoming this age-old fear?
When was the last time you talked to someone about death? There’s a good chance that quite a few people will consider this question weird or even uncomfortable.
I have always been a naturally curious person, especially when it comes to the “big questions.” As such, I have always found the awkwardness with which especially Western cultures approach the topic of death very bizarre.
Say what you will, but death is one of the main events of this existence we collectively find ourselves in. It happens all around us, all the time, and we will all have to deal with it ourselves at some point – that is just an unquestionable fact of life. And yet we don’t want to talk about it?
If you bring up death, people may think you’re morbid or accuse you of “bringing the mood down.” I don’t think it makes you some sort of weird death fetishist if you just want to talk about one of the most common natural phenomena in a rational, practical way. In fact, I’d argue that the other extreme, thanatophobia to the point of shaming others for even mentioning the issue, is just as strange.
Often, it also seems that people seem to consider death as something to worry about “later in life.” But when exactly is this “later in life”? How do you even know there will be a “later”? As far as I’m aware, none of us know when we will die, and death has been known to come suddenly and unexpectedly. But we do know that we’re not dead now (at least we’re fairly certain of it).
So, seeing as we alive people are amongst ourselves, let’s talk about death.
First and foremost, the attitudes I have just highlighted constitute several practical challenges. In his interview, Schonckert stated that many doctors and nurses still don’t know that euthanasia is legal in Luxembourg. I don’t know about you, but I found this statement shocking when I first read it. Patients not knowing about it is one thing, but medical professionals? 14 years after the law was passed?
The decision to legalise euthanasia was a truly historic moment. But what good is granting your citizens a right that they would have almost nowhere else in the world, if so many are still too afraid of the topic to use it?
Since death might literally strike at any time, thinking about end-of-life stuff is not something that can wait. We have all probably heard or read about horror stories involving patients in hopeless conditions being kept alive for far longer than an objective observer would deem reasonable. And sure, we all like to think that this only happens to other people, but the truth is: There is simply no way of knowing.
Besides euthanasia itself, the ability to determine end-of-life provisions ahead of time is an incredibly empowering tool. It enables us to use our current agency to set guidelines for a time when we might no longer be able communicate our wishes any other way. Dying on our own terms, literally.
It can also bring a sense of calm and predictability to what might otherwise be chaotic circumstances. If we end up in a situation for which we have made plans earlier in life, medical staff will instantly know how to proceed. Family members and friends may also find it easier to accept the outcomes of a choice that originated from our own free will. After all, even if we don’t make a choice, someone will have to, eventually. In my eyes, it is an act of kindness not to burden one of your loved ones with the truly devastating choice of whether or not to “pull the plug” – spare them the emotional trauma by deciding ahead of time how you would like them to proceed.
If you find it upsetting to think about this stuff – congrats, you’re not a robot and your emotions work as intended! Of course this is sad and upsetting. But imagine how much greater the emotional pressure is likely to be in an actual life-or-death situation. We should make the most of our time while we’re still of sound mind and plan ahead. Let’s not forget: We’re in a country that actually allows us to do so.
Besides these more practical aspects, discussing death more openly can significantly improve our present lives.
I have mentioned this before in some of my op-eds, but it bears repeating that fear and ignorance are closely linked. The main reason why people are scared of death is because they know so little about it.
It is worth learning what the process of dying is like and you don’t even have to volunteer at an end-of-life facility to do that. There are many great books out there containing the stories of people who dedicated their life to caring for the dying that are well worth your time.
One thing you may find when you do pick up some of these books is that many people in palliative care agree that it is of paramount importance to ensure that a dying person is able to pass away peacefully. Educating yourself and making your own inner peace with the topic while still alive is not only beneficial to yourself but also enables you to create that peaceful atmosphere for others. Doing this is one of the most precious gifts you can give someone.
Learning about death and gaining a deeper understanding of it can also lead to a greater appreciation for this present life. If you have ever listened to people who were involved in serious accidents or had near-death experiences, something you may have noticed is that one thing they almost always stress is how much more they appreciate life now. You don’t need to go through such traumatic experiences to develop that same appreciation. It is the natural result of accepting and integrating death into your view of life.
In many ways, death is a reflection of our minds. A fearful mind will be met with fear, a peaceful mind will encounter peace. While death itself is non-negotiable, its nature is very much dependent on our choices. So choose. And don’t wait until later.
