Everything you need to know about love scams, grooming, and sextortion

In Luxembourg, the Bee Secure initiative spreads awareness on how to improve internet security. The service offers information on protective measures to avoid falling prey to scammers, and also advises people who have been victims of online crime. RTL spoke to Bee Secure's Igor Loran about love scams and other such issues.

A broken heart hurts, but especially so when your romantic partner blackmails you or exploits you financially.

Not just fraud, but blackmail

Bee Secure sorts these cases into three categories, says Loran: grooming, NCSII, and sextortion.

Grooming refers to people who use a fake profile to target their victim, frequently underage, to build up trust over an extended period of time. The perpetrator's goal is ultimately sexual assault. In extreme cases this leads to rape, but even sharing intimate photos can put the victim in a dangerous situation.

The acronym NCSII refers to non-consensual sharing of intimate images. In some cases this can also be cyber-bullying, for example, when the images are shared among a school community.

When intimate images, videos or other content are used to blackmail the victim, this is called sextortion. This is also linked to revenge porn, or when intimate content is released by an ex-partner, for example. "There are cases where the ex-partner has used this method to force their victim to re-enter the relationship," shares Loran. If the victim does not comply, the perpetrator shares the images with people such as the victim's family, friends, or even work colleagues.

But this isn't always perpetrated by people familiar to the victim, says the Bee Secure expert. Some scammers use dating platforms to convince their victims to share the images, which can lead to sextortion.

Love scams can be costly

For many older people, the desire for companionship makes them especially vulnerable to so-called "love scams" or "romance scams." Both men and women are affected equally. "There may be a fear of being alone or the dream of finding a soulmate. That's when people can be deceived," explains Igor Loran. In some cases, such scams can even turn into sextortion.

Unlike sextortion, which often unfolds quickly, "love scams" can drag on for months or even years, especially if the victim is financially secure. The perpetrators carefully build up what seems to be a genuine relationship, only to exploit it for money. By the time victims realise what is happening, it is often too late. "These scams can be very persistent," Loran warns. "When someone is in love, they sometimes choose to live in a fantasy. Through rose-tinted glasses, they see only the potential partner, not the warnings from friends or family."

Excuses for why an in-person meeting is "not yet possible" are accepted without question, while significant sums of money may already have changed hands – allegedly to cover a flight, a medical bill, or some other emergency. "Victims cling to hope. They believe they're on the verge of finding real love, when in fact, it isn't real," says Loran. In some cases, even when police or banks have intervened, victims still refuse to believe that their supposed partner is a fraudster.

"Sometimes a victim realises within 15 seconds that something isn't right. Other times, it takes six months – by then they may be left with an empty bank account and a broken heart," says Igor Loran of Bee Secure. In such cases, he stresses, it is vital that victims have a strong support network around them, especially for emotional support during the crisis.

Catching the perpetrators, however, remains difficult. "Unfortunately, in many cases the people behind these fraud schemes are never identified," Loran explains. Still, there are successes: through international cooperation, some call centers – whether in Eastern Europe, Africa, or the Pacific region – have been tracked down and dismantled.

He notes that the money trail could, in principle, be followed: "IBAN transfers are always linked to a name. So it is technically possible to trace where the money went. The question is whether that trail is actually pursued."

Have you ever fallen victim to a so-called "love scam" or experienced emotional extortion online? We’d like to hear your story. Write to us at opruff@rtl.lu.