Our colleagues from RTL recently talked to Monique Lucas about how victims of domestic violence can escape their entrapment and break out of an abuse relationship.

Violent behaviour in a relationship can take on many forms, ranging from psychological violence to financial abuse, as well as sexual and physical violence. Our colleagues from RTL recently spoke to Monique Lucas from VISAVI, a service from non-profit Femmes en Détresse (Women in Distress), about the slow yet steady built-up of this downward spiral.

Domestic violence tends to start out as psychological violence, often still framed as banter at the beginning, yet becoming increasingly aggressive over time, explained Lucas. Then there are instances of physical violence, which may at first be directed at objects to create an atmosphere of fear. This behaviour is then extended to the partner and may even lead to homicide in some cases.

Perpetrators usually start slowly as to not drive away their victims. Latter lose confidence and become increasingly dependent through manipulation, often unable to escape the situation by themselves.

Misleading compliments are also a contributing factor to the entrapment, noted Lucas: "Hearing the words 'I need you' is something that can make you feel good despite the manipulation. Being needed is important, but it can blind a person and make them ignore the violent aspects of a relationship."

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Once a person has realised that they are in a violent relationship, external support becomes extremely important. It is also essential that friends and relatives learn to see past the image that an abuser may put on.

"It is important to find help and people that listen and believe one's own perception of the physical violence", emphasised Lucas. Although one might still think that the other person can be nice, it is important to get the right message across to those around.

There are several contact points for victims of domestic violence in Luxembourg. VISAVI can be reached via phone, but people can also take appointments to discuss their situation with someone in person. They also offer continued help to victims who managed to cut an abuser out of their lives.