Family Matters favourites: parenting books, podcasts, and more

Whether you're living abroad without a big network of extended family or if you've always called Luxembourg home, these books (and podcasts and newsletters) provide practical advice and thought-provoking perspectives.

We'd love to hear readers' thoughts and feedback on the selection, along with any recommendations you think we've missed – feel free to comment below or write to us directly at contenttoday@rtl.lu.

The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) by Philippa Perry

If you’ve ever wondered what the concept of reparenting is all about, UK-based psychologist Philippa Perry is here to walk you through exactly why certain aspects of parenthood (and marriage after kids) can be triggering, exhausting, and emotional. There’s nothing heavy handed or accusatory happening in this book and you’ll find yourself reading anecdotes about other parents who have, well, messed up (what Perry calls a ‘rupture’) and how they repaired their relationships after the fact – through contemplation of their own patterns and personal history.

These scenarios run the gamut from getting shouty at the playground to finding yourself unable to connect with a child due to any number of factors. She illustrates ways to be kinder, and more thoughtful, while also, of course, evaluating how you were raised yourself and what role this plays in your own relationships. Our copy is bedraggled from use and it’s the book that I return to over and over again throughout every stage of parenthood and ‘marriage-hood’.  

Similar, recommended reads:

• Good Inside: A Practical Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Dr. Becky Kennedy
• Simplicity Parenting: Using the Power of Less to Raise Happy, Secure Children by Kim John-Payne

Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong — and What You Really Need to Know by Emily Oster

This is technically not a parenting book; it’s a pregnancy-and-trying-to-conceive book. However, it is the gateway drug to Emily Oster – patron saint of parents who love statistics – and her resources touch most any topic from baby years to menopause. Oster’s entry into the parenting discourse came about after she found herself pregnant, and, as a statistician, wanted to know exactly what studies laid the basis for pregnancy’s generally universal to-do’s and not-to-do’s. Her assessments can be freeing in either their specificity, or in the knowledge that the studies behind certain rules or schools of thought are sometimes inconclusive.

Oster is famous for never telling her audience what they should do, while also providing an even-handed analysis of what is known or not known about any given situation – whether it’s the question of eating sushi while pregnant or which sleep locations are statistically safest to prevent SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). Some of her resources exist behind a paywall, but a lot of her ‘stuff’ is readily available through the ParentData substack, newsletter, and podcast.

Other Oster-eque books of note:

• The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp, M.D.
• The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Proven Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Dr. Daniel J. Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson

No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury

As much as we wish we lived in a world of reading nooks and ample free time on a terrace at dusk, it’s sometimes more realistic to delve into podcasts or online resources. Similar to Emily Oster, parents seem to come for Janet Lansbury's books (No Bad Kids is her most well-known and it’s a gem for those who are uninitiated to the developmentally essential but tyrannical whims of this age group) and stay for her perennially helpful podcast Unruffled. Through personalised, measured responses to parents’ most common questions, Lansbury uses the podcast to advocate for ‘Respectful Parenting’, a concept built on her work with Hungarian-American childhood educator Magda Gerber, and one that essentially helps parents improve their communication with their kids.

Featured books similar to No Bad Kids and Unruffled:

• The Gentle Discipline Book: How to Raise Co-operative, Polite, and Helpful Children by Sarah Ockwell-Smith
• Gentle First Year: The Essential Guide to Mother and Baby Wellbeing in the First Twelve Months by Dr. Gowri Motha & Karen Swan Macleod
• How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

Other books on RTL Today’s Parenting Bookshelf

• The Montessori Baby; The Montessori Toddler; and The Montessori Child by Simone Davies
• The 7 Secrets of Raising Happy Eaters by Karen Le Billon
• Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right by Jamie Glowacki
• The Baby Reflux Lady’s Survival Guide by Áine Homer
• When Boys Become Boys: Development, Relationships, and Masculinity by Judy Y. Chu
• The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt
• Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It by Richard V. Reeves
• 'The Men — and Boys — Are Not Alright', The Ezra Klein Show
• The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents by Lisa Damour
• Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood by Lisa Damour

You can find many of these titles here in Luxembourg through special order via bookstores like Ernster and Librairie Alinea – or via Amazon's UK or German stores.