Unlike the similarly monickered Stockholm Syndrome, this outbreak causes the sufferer to fall in love with themselves.
Luxembourg’s health authorities have made a shock announcement relating to a new national health threat.
The virus, which affects a person’s sense of ego, has been said to have originated in the North of the country in the early 1900’s.
Health authorities had thought that the virus had been wiped out in the middle of the last century, it appears though, that it was merely dormant.
Labelled Luxembourg Syndrome the highly contagious disease targets the brain – specifically prone to catching it are new arrivals and those easily impressed by high costs of living.
- Unnecessarily large vehicles
- Aggressive driving
- Overpriced wardrobe
- Inflated sense of self importance
- A general air of self-satisfaction
- Swapping table wine for bubbles
- Expecting everything for free
- Becoming holier than thou
- A complete absence of common sense
Boffins are beavering away on a cure but one is not yet readily available.
If you encounter someone who is LS positive; remain calm, don’t entertain an argument, do not ‘trigger’ them and try to extrapolate yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.
France, Germany, Belgium AND countries that have easy travel links with The Grand Duchy have been placed on high alert.
The USA, North Korea and Russia are rumoured to be preparing long range ‘solutions’.
The ministry of health has set up a hotline to call if you fear that you or someone else may have encountered an ‘infected’ and have urged the public to remain vigilant.