Hayley welcomes Dr de Vries to unpack what is Giftedness and what it's like to have a high potential child, while covering overlaps with Autism and ADHD.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that all parents think their kids are very special, and very smart. But do you have a kid that is actually extremely smart? Were they way ahead of their peers intellectually at a very young age? Were they called precocious? Did they ask difficult or “out there” questions about the world and the universe as a small child? Do they struggle to pay attention in class? Do they seem to get much worse grades than what you think they are capable of? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you may have a gifted, or high potential child on your hands!
For the month of April I have dedicated the podcast to raising awareness and acceptance of neurodiversity in Luxembourg. We have covered topics like dyslexia and ADHD in the local system, advocating and resources for parents here in Luxembourg, as well as how to raise neurodiverse kids with hope and confidence (all available now wherever you get your podcasts!).
In the final episode of Season 2 of “Mom Life in Luxembourg”, I sit down with Dr Henderika de Vries, former Fulbright Yale Scholar, PhD in creativity from the Sorbonne Paris Cité to dive into the nuanced world of giftedness, early development, and the fine line between brilliance and burnout.
Gifted people are only about 2-3% of the total population (assuming you define giftedness as an IQ of 130 or higher). However, I wanted to do this episode because in my life I have recently come across multiple stories of parents whose children have been identified as gifted, but essentially failed by the school system. Even though these kids are “high potential” in theory, in practice that means more work for the teachers. A different pace and way of learning. Often these kids don’t achieve their potential and become depressed or worse.
In this episode we unpack why gifted kids are often overlooked or mistaken for having behavioral issues, the danger of under-stimulation in traditional school settings and why a strength based approach is essential. We talk about how to best support children who have asynchronous development and how to best assist with the emotional toll of being intellectually ahead of all of their peers. Dr de Vries stresses that the most important thing for these kids is to maintain the emotional bond between the parents and the child.
We also talk about how you can’t really do anything as a parent to make your kid gifted. They are born like that. It’s like a flower. All you need to provide is water and sunlight. But you can’t turn a tulip into a rose with extra reading and tutoring, for example.
Finally, we talk about kids being “over diagnosed” and how, in Dr de Vries’ opinion, that can lead down a bad path as the child may feel incomplete or less than. This is a really interesting and thought provoking episode. Please give it a listen and let me know what you think. As always, I’d love to hear from you. Please reach out on instagram at momlifeinluxembourg.
