A month ago, Judge Charlotte came down in favour of a husband who wanted to keep his precious car. The second case brought before the Judge focused on another marital dispute, as she was asked to weigh in on whether a wife should be forced to stick to her own rule on banning technology from the bedroom. The most recent case dealt with a husband who kept planning weekend activities on his wife’s behalf.
This week’s case is about shared finances in a civil partnership.
Jim seeks a ruling to have his and his girlfriend’s, Hannah, finances to be placed in a shared account each month, with the exception of an agreed private savings amount for each. Read Jim and Hannah’s arguments below or, If you wish, skip straight to Charlotte’s ruling below.
The finance aspect of a household can be very tricky and even a dealbreaker in a relationship. I don’t know how reliable the source is but according to ‘Wealth of Geeks’ and ‘Credit.com’, 24% of Americans say they broke up with someone over finances. That’s almost a quarter of the population = a lot!
Stress as a result of finance, is obviously a lot more suffocating and problematic if there is a scarcity of money; it can put a lot of pressure on a couple. But even if the quantity of money is not a problem, financial choices can still be a reason for couples to go their separate ways.
In my view, there is no need for that to happen in this case. As long as Jim and Hannah are both willing to compromise.
There are a few points that I want to get into before giving you my ruling: emancipation, practicality and how the past shapes us.
· Emancipation
While I understand where Hannah is coming from, her logical thinking seems to be a bit clouded by her personal experience. She believes that, especially, as a woman, financial independence is crucial and she wants to spend her own money the way that she, and she alone, sees fit. She is free to believe that.
However, having a shared account on one hand, and saving one’s own money on the other, are not mutually exclusive. They can go hand-in-hand. Plus, the fact that she has a job, makes her own money, and is able to take care of herself financially will not suddenly stop because she puts a part of her money in a shared bank account.
· Practicality
Having to go through a monthly administrative sit-down to calculate everything that has been bought, divide by two and determine who needs to pay whom what amount seems very tedious, unpractical, time-consuming and basically, unnecessary. It feels a bit like you are roommates instead of life partners. I am not judging you on your chosen lifestyle, but wouldn’t you rather spend your time on fun stuff?
Life is full of things that we do not necessarily enjoy but that we have to do nonetheless – cleaning the toilet, scraping rests of burnt meat of the BBQ, any task related to dirty laundry, or even work, for some – but these cannot be avoided. However, your monthly cash balancing ordeal can be stopped.
· Shaped by the past.
We’re all shaped by the past; the loving parents’ shared account, however nice an example, is not the only way to organise one’s life as a couple, nor is the experience of poverty a vivid risk to be aware of at all times. Being an adult and choosing your life partner comes with responsibilities ☹, but also with the freedom of choice to do things your own way . As a couple. So, meeting each other in the middle, something that is necessary in a good relationship anyway, is the way forward.
I want to suggest a solution that may, at first glance, seem to lean more towards Jim’s point of view than Hannah’s but it really is the true middle of both their wishes.
The couple will open a shared account to which they transfer the necessary amount to cover monthly living expenses like rent, bills, food, etc. All the things that currently require them to sit down for and balance out. Plus an additional 10 % to build up reserves and to avoid future disputes. As they share their living expenses on a 50/50 basis, they can decide on an equal amount. Should their income in the future diverge thus that a 50/50 split is no longer fair and logic, they can choose to divide their contribution according to their financial power.
The rest of their money, they can keep to themselves and spend or save however they like it.
Please note that their incomes come in on their private accounts, and they make an (automatic) monthly payment to their shared account.
Jim gets his side of his wish, which is to have a shared account and be done with the monthly balancing. And Hannah maintains her independence, remaining in charge of her income, saving and spending.
Do you have a case to present to the Court? Simply fill out this form, and your case will be sent directly to the court clerk. Once submitted, Charlotte may just provide a ruling as part of RTL Today’s commitment to justice and familial, neighbourly, and communal peace.
