LGBT in schools – won't someone please think of the children?!

Of course we are not – but this seems to be the belief of some of the hundreds of people who have offered insightful (though perhaps not in the way they intended) commentary on the recent petition seeking to remove "LGBT themes from the school curricula".

The petition expresses "concern for children's education in Luxembourg" due to the inclusion of LGBT themes for minors. This, the petitioner argues, is inappropriate as it may "disrupt the pyscho-pedagogical development of children".

I felt the same about religion classes when I was in school, yet there was little I could do but sit there and pretend to be interested in the fairytales some grown adults choose to believe as a means of coming to terms with their own mortality. And, in some cases, give themselves a free pass for their plethora of sins. Just ask for forgiveness and you're alright; welcome to heaven, sinner. You will be surprised to hear that I'm not devoutely religious despite this indoctrination. I've even farted in a church once. Not as a protest against religion, mind – just necessity, which I figure God would be to blame for anyway if he does exist.

Anyway. The petition goes on to explain that "it is crucial that education on these topics is adapted to the age and level of maturity of the students". Now there's something to which I can lend my agreement. But the critical reader would ask if this isn't already the case – it would indeed be inappropriate to teach primary school children about sex in any form in all too much intricate detail.

The good news is that – and prepare to be shocked – this is already the case. Who would have thought?! Schools adapt teaching material to the age of the students and their level of maturity. What a world!

Turning our children gay – again!

This isn't the first time a similar debacle has unfolded. Just under a year ago, a similar furore arose over children's reading sessions hosted by drag artist Tatta Tom. So did this twist people's knickers, I am surprised there weren't more hospitalisations from severe buttock chafing. I weighed in on that too, because I'm clearly a sucker for being told I'm a left-wing (wrong), culture warrior (wrong), politically correct (wrong), woke (wrong) monster of a man. But perhaps I am.

One of the big concerns then, as it is now, was that coming face to face with LGBT themes would inevitably turn our children gay. Or make girls think they're boys. Or make boys think they're girls. One comment I saw on the Luxembourg subreddit suggested that boys are being made to use pink pens, which through some unknown process will make them think they're girls. Because, you know, pink.

I don't understand how fragile one's sexuality and self-identity must be for someone to believe this. Do these people truly think they would be gay today, or identify as the opposite gender to that with which they were physiologically born, had they learned about LGBT themes in school?

As I recall, I learned about a great number of things in school which didn't affect my self-identity. I spent hours reading about Nazis, yet I'm not one. I had to learn about Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, etc., yet I remain an atheist heathen. Even the blessed waters of the church, sprinkled upon my relatively newborn head, failed to seep through my skull and make me religious.

So to think that merely learning about specific themes will change you fundamentally seems exceptionally unlikely to me. Much like how reading about China doesn't make you Chinese.

Teaching LGBT themes has a similar aim to teaching religion: understanding others, their experience, their struggles, and their beliefs helps us develop empathy and understanding. It may also help those who are gay, queer, or otherwise fall within the LGBT umbrella accept themselves for who they are.

I see both of those as positives.

Time to put the pitchforks down, and bring them back out when your enemy isn't entirely fictional.