Everyone’s experienced this before, or at least some derivative of it: You’re lying in bed, lights out, nice and cosy. Ready for some shuteye. Ah, how wonderful it is in your nice, warm bed. Nobody can take this moment away from you. Or can they? Something’s caught your attention. A noise. It sounds a bit like the evil, high-pitched buzz of a distant mosquito; a sound so annoying and pain-inducing it can only be contested by the standard iPhone alarm that wakes you up at six-thirty. Maybe you’re just imagining it. Maybe you’re being paranoid. You decide to wave it off, so you turn around and snuggle up against your pillow. Your eyelids are heavy.
A minute or so passes, but then: Uh-oh. There it is again. The buzz, unmistakable this time. You weren’t dreaming after all! You sigh. Really, a mosquito? Wow. You can’t really be bothered to get up out of your comfy position, and besides, turning on the light will hurt your eyes. So, you come up with a cunning plan. You’ll wait until the mosquito lands on you, then beat the living daylights out of it.
You wait. The mosquito, wherever it is, is not going to see this coming. A few minutes go by, but there’s no sign of the pesky thing. It’s as though it has read your mind. Oh well, mission failed. You let it be and curl up again. Of course, that’s exactly when the mosquito decides to show up. It flies across your face as if it were trying to torment you. In typical mosquito fashion, it does a couple more of those before zooming right past your ear. You can almost feel its little wings, and the buzzing is driving you insane.
Right, you think. This is when I make my move. You get your hand ready, raise it a little. You hold your breath. This time, the little critter lands on your neck. An awkward spot, but it shouldn’t be a major problem. The feeling of those little legs on your skin is almost as annoying as the piercing buzz, but it’s okay because you’re going to destroy it in a moment. The hand comes down. Have you killed it? You wait a little. Gone. The mosquito is no more!
Victorious, you shut your eyes. But then: Bzzzzz- What? No! The persistent little bugger survived! What happens next is a furious two-minute fight to the death. The creature lands, you strike. Over and over. It won’t die. Eventually, you give up. You’re tired, and you’ve realised you’re fighting a losing battle. The mosquito is triumphant and - unfortunately for you - is most likely going to celebrate by feasting on your blood.
This is a fairly accurate rendition of my typical mosquito encounters. If there’s such a thing as an ‘eradicate all mosquitos’ petition, hook me up. I’ll be the first to jot my name down on that list, although most of mankind will be close behind.
Do you have something to get off your chest? Perhaps an observation, question, gripe, or praise? Feel free to drop us a line through audience@rtltoday.lu, or through our Facebook page.
