Parenthood is regarded as one of life’s most rewarding yet complex tasks. According to Gilbert Pregno, there is no fixed template for being a “good” parent.
“There are no two parents alike”, Pregno says, acknowledging that the role of a parent is becoming increasingly difficult in today’s society, marked by rapid change, high expectations, and fragile social cohesion.
Read also: Luxembourg psychologist advocates for introduction of ‘parenting licence’
Even in difficult family situations, Pregno stresses the importance of perspective: “A life without hope is a desert.” He believes that the early years of a child’s life are crucial in shaping their development. “A tree is only as strong as its roots”, he explains, underscoring the importance of emotional connection, safety, and the transmission of values.
Pregno advocates for parents to start reflecting on their role before the child is born, urging them to consider their values and the challenges ahead. He emphasises the need for parents to listen to their children but also set boundaries.
“Being happy with a child also means setting boundaries. For me, that means listening and engaging in discussion – but ultimately, a decision has to be made, and it’s the parents who must implement it.”
To support parents, Pregno focuses on preventive models. He founded a parent school years ago, providing a space for parents to exchange ideas not only about difficulties but also about strengths. He stresses that it is important to discuss both, offering a balanced approach to parenting.
Looking ahead, Pregno hopes for the introduction of parent courses, focusing on values such as renouncing violence, the importance of fathers, and the versatility of parenting methods. Politically, however, this idea has not yet received support: “I don’t think I had the necessary political connections for someone to suddenly say, ‘we are doing this’.”
Pregno also believes that a child’s safety and emotional well-being begin with the parents. “When parents have good access to themselves, it is easier to give the child the necessary roots.” The more at peace parents are with themselves, the better they can navigate everyday life, which in turn directly impacts the child’s development.
Despite the many challenges that parents face today, including stress, loneliness, and social pressure, Pregno remains hopeful. “I always believe that life is worth living”, he asserts, stressing the importance of not isolating oneself and seeking support when needed.
Pregno also advocates for a healthy approach to discipline, emphasising that punishment should not involve self-punishment from parents. Instead, he highlights the importance of building a child’s confidence and personality. “It is important to convey to children that they are loved and that parents are there for them, even when they punish them.”
On the topic of bullying, Pregno observes that the landscape has changed in recent years, particularly with the advent of digitalisation. “There is a fragility among adolescents that they naturally hide. Some are more rebellious, others withdraw”, he explains. Parents must be understanding and supportive, making sure their children know they can always turn to them.
“The tragic stories of youths who ended badly are those where parents let their children fall”, he notes.
While bullying and conflict in schools and high schools have always existed, Pregno observes an increasing number of adolescents facing significant distress. He attributes some of these challenges to the negative effects of digitalisation and social networks, urging caution in their consumption.
Special attention should be given to very young children, ensuring that healthy values are conveyed in their digital engagement.
Pregno highlights that schools play a central role in not only imparting knowledge but also transmitting values. “Schools are not only there to pass on knowledge but also to transmit values. These must be established and lived by”, he says.
He sees the mobile phone ban in schools as a positive development in fostering healthy values and emotional well-being among students.
