Luxembourg City officials have confirmed that the beloved Christmas markets will indeed take place this winter. What measures will be taken to ensure the safety and wellbeing of visitors?

Proper air flow

Limited air flow can pose a big risk at any gathering, even those held outdoors. That’s why the Ferris wheel in Place de la Constitution will be fitted with a GP7000 jet engine – the same found in the Airbus A380 – and converted into a giant fan to circulate fresh air throughout the city center.

Reduced spitting

In order to prevent accidental spitting into the air, hard-to-pronounce words will be banned and replaced with simpler ones. Gromperekichelcher, spätzle, and vin chaud will become tater-cakes, noodles, and “yeah, that -- that hot drink.”

Improved heat lamps

The coveted heat lamps that everyone gathers around will now contain UV bulbs that zap viruses on every surface within a radius of three meters. Just make sure to wear sunglasses and cover your skin.

Face masks with a twist

Gromperkichelchen will be served in a disposable face mask that you can later wear to remember the smell – even hours after you’ve returned home.

Keep your mugs

The germ-spreading practice of giving out reusable tokens to glühwein drinkers so they get a euro when they return their mugs has been abolished. Instead, drinkers will be obliged to carry their three or four mugs all night and add them to their collection of 300 or 400 unwanted mugs at home.

Masks and eating

Vendors of spätzle, tartiflette, raclette, and other hot winter specialties will be required to add a final step to preparing their food, which is to mix it in a blender so visitors can drink their food through a straw while safely keeping their masks on.