Five kids, five times the happiness!

Having 5 children is seen by some as their worst nightmare, and by others, their biggest dream. To Mirjam Coopmans, it is a reality – one that she feels extremely grateful for.

With Dutch origin, but having lived in Luxembourg for most of her children's lives, Mirjam Coopmans comments on her life as a mother of 5 boys. Mirjam along with Lucas (24), Ruben (20), David (17), Simon (14), Jonas (12) and her husband Pieter make up the family of 7, and she “wouldn’t change it for the world”.

Relationship between siblings – bigger family, kinder hearts?

It is often said that children in larger families have the kindest hearts and in Mirjam’s case this couldn't be truer. With their parents' attention spread among them, the boys have learned to be incredibly patient and kind, both with each other and with everyone else.

"When the youngest needed more time to complete tasks, the older siblings were excellent at encouraging them," Mirjam recounts. "And when the older siblings had chores to do, the youngest would always automatically join in to help." The boys seemed genuinely happy to spend time together, their bond evident in their everyday interactions.

Despite the age gaps that come with having five kids, it’s never been much of an issue. There’s a 12-year difference between the oldest and youngest, but they’ve always made sure to support one another. The two youngest are especially close, both in age and friendship, but overall, their closeness is more about shared interests than age.

One of the kids' strongest common interests is skiing and snowboarding. Mirjam speaks with pride as she recalls moments of watching her sons glide down the mountain together, feeling a deep sense of wholeness and pride. "My boys," she says, capturing the strong bond they all share and the fulfillment she feels.

Fitting the family

So, what is it like fitting a family of seven? On holiday, the issue was less about space – though they definitely had their challenges there – and more about finding a destination that would interest everyone. As the boys grew older, their interests diverged, especially with a 12-year age gap.

Mirjam always made sure to book places where the older boys could explore activities and nightlife while also offering fun water parks and play areas for the younger children. This could be complicated, especially when thinking of new places to go, but they always managed.

Booking a hotel for a family of seven is an adventure in itself. Mirjam recounts a time when they booked three connected hotel rooms: “It felt as if we’d rented out the entire floor.” When on holiday, the family would often get a lot of looks – but unlike what one might think, these looks consisted of warm smiles that said "that's so cool".

Regarding transportation, with five children having different interests and schedules, Mirjam spent much of her time in the car, shuttling them to their various activities and picking them up. She mentions how they practically lived in their car during the afternoons, with some of the kids having to be patient while waiting for her to finish her rounds.

Their seven-seater was a lifesaver, offering the necessary space and comfort for everyone. Mirjam even joked that it was their second home. They drove a seven-seater with extra space in the back for luggage during their travels.

When it comes to housing, Luxembourg offers relatively large homes, though they are expensive. Having lived in both Luxembourg and the Netherlands, Mirjam found it easier to find suitable housing in Luxembourg. She appreciates the spaciousness of Luxembourgish homes, which allowed each child to have their own room.

Housework as a mum of 5

For the first three babies, Mirjam worked a part-time job. However, when baby number four was on the way, Mirjam and her husband, Pieter, decided that she would stay home to take care of the children. “It’s a choice you make – it worked well for us,” Mirjam explains. Consequently, she never felt the need for external help from a nanny or equivalent and feels grateful for having the opportunity to be with her kids.

With Mirjam at home, she took on most of the housework, including the challenging task of cooking for such a large family. Cooking required a lot of arm strength, as she often used massive pots to prepare meals for her growing boys, who ate a lot. Mirjam recalls, "It was an okay adjustment because it happened gradually. One baby was born after the other, not all at once, so this gave me the time to understand what was needed from me - you get used to it."

Despite the challenges, Mirjam adapted to the demands of her growing family, ensuring that each child was well-cared for and the home ran smoothly.

What you get used to – moving out

Even now, with some of the boys having moved out, Mirjam still cooks using those big pots. She's become so accustomed to having them all around all the time. Despite the initial energy required to manage five children, the house feels empty when even one of them isn't around.

She describes the strange experience of raising someone and then suddenly not seeing them everyday anymore. "I feel a little incomplete", she admits.

However, she’s thankful that she can gradually get used to it though, as David only just graduated in May, and she still has two more to go. Despite missing her boys, she is very proud of who they are becoming.

Giving everyone equal attention

It really helped that the kids would disappear off to school for the day; this way, Mirjam could give the baby the attention he required. Nevertheless, it wasn't always easy. Despite school giving her the much-needed space to care for everyone equally, the boys all had hobbies. Mirjam jokes, "there were a lot of football matches to watch", and though every effort was made to attend all of them, this wasn't always possible.

Mum-guilt was definitely a thing. However, Mirjam reminds us that she was doing the best she could, and that was good enough. Not everything was always perfect and spotless – it was actually very chaotic at times – but this is all part of the experience.

Words of advice from a mum of 5?

Her message to parents of many children or new mothers is simple: Be kind to yourself – you are probably doing way better than you think you are. And make sure to take some time for yourself too, from time to time. You are still your own person, and you can be proud of yourself.