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After weeks of trying to find a specialist to evaluate some symptoms which may indicate something awful or nothing, you have finally succeeded in getting an appointment in only seven months when the specialist will have time for you during the five minutes when she drops off her children at the crèche.
The search
The search for a specialist began weeks ago when you consulted a popular online directory and scheduling website and learned that the earliest availability was in the year 2028. You assumed the website was glitching.
You called every relevant clinic in the country and, in nearly comprehensible Franglish, each receptionist confirmed that the online directory was accurate.
You briefly considered quitting your job, studying medicine, getting specialisation training, obtaining the necessary permits and certificates, and examining yourself, but you abandoned the idea when you realised you would have to learn stuff.
The good news
This morning, you got a call from the receptionist of one of the three specialists. She told you she had good news.
"A patient has canceled his early morning appointment on March twenty-sixth of next year, so I booked that slot for you."
In celebration, you leapt up and down, blasted Uptown Funk on Spotify although you publicly claim to dislike the song, and popped open a bottle of cheap sparkling wine that has been in your fridge since New Year's Eve.
The condition
"There's one thing, however," the receptionist said, and you realised with horror that the phone call was not actually finished and that the receptionist was listening as you threw your impromptu party. "Your appointment slot is very narrow: the period when the doctor drops her two children off at the crèche in Mamer."
"You'll need to catch her then, as she's walking in or walking out, but you may not enter the crèche with her. Wait outside. Please bring your social security card."
She cautioned that if you are even 30 seconds late, you may be asked to run alongside the doctor's car as she drives away yet slows down enough to give you an examination as best as she can through the open window.
