A representative for the First-Time Parents Association of Luxembourg has confirmed rumors that its members will “literally buy anything if it’s baby-themed.”

“Sensible people and those not overwhelmed by the emotions of being a first-time parent have long claimed that we will purchase anything as long as it comes in pastel colors and has the word ‘baby’ in the product name,” said representative Iryna Farminka, who is also mother to a newborn.

“I am here today to tell you that these allegations – are completely true,” she continued. “Once you start looking, you discover that there is so much cute baby stuff that you just need to have.”

Mother-to-be Serafina Lockstock explains that the other day, she saw a baby blanket with an image of a baby elephant playing poker with a baby tiger.

“They were drinking baby cocktails,” she said. “I bought two.”

Francielle Boullux, who is nine-months pregnant, says that her epiphany came when she first went to look at prams when she started her third trimester.

“I thought I would buy a simple pram like my mother, grandmother, and probably great-grandmother used,” she said. “But then I did some research and learned how utterly insufficient they are.”

Boullux ended up buying a Nova-Baby XPL model with Safe-T-Lok wheels, an embedded tracking device and surveillance system with breathing-monitoring functions, and a suspension system inspired by Formula 1 cars.

“It only cost 3400 euros, plus 59 euros a month for live monitoring assistance,” she said.

Regis Weilbacher, whose girlfriend Anne is expecting their first child in June, says that they believed they were capable of self-restraint until they visited a baby store last weekend.

“We stopped by to look at lamps for the baby’s bedroom,” he said. “We had set a budget of 40 euros.”

However, they emerged nearly three hours later with more than a thousand baby items that required them to max out three credit cards and sell their car.

“Baby curtains, baby carpet, baby ceiling stickers, baby electrical outlet covers, and the cutest baby rubbish bin,” Anne said after coming out of her daze.

“Baby door-knob covers, a baby air-filtration system, and a baby alarm linked to the NATO Integrated Air Defense System that will send us a cute little baby alert in case of a nuclear attack so that we can grab our baby and baby survival kit and hide in our new baby bunker.”

“It’s stocked with the most adorable pink and light-blue emergency food kits,” Regis added.

Read more at Wurst.lu