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Two expats who met at a public gathering have spent a grueling 20 minutes vying for expat supremacy, according to impressed observers.
On Saturday, Raibeart Slora and Fionnaghal Brush stood near each other in the sausage queue at a village fair and learned that they come from the same country.
According to witnesses, the two chatted for nine minutes about the weather, sausage prices, and inflation before asking the question that, by both expat law and expat custom, one must pose when meeting a fellow countryman.
"So, how long have you lived here?" Slora finally said, sensing that held the upper hand in this regard due to what he perceived as Brush’s relative youth and her clumsy pronunciation of "Mettwurscht."
"Eight years," she responded proudly.
"Ten for me," Slora shot back.
"Got kids? Mine go to a Luxembourgish school," Brush parried.
"I’m married to a Luxembourger," Slora said in a brilliant riposte.
"Well, I've got the nationality."
"So have I."
What followed was a wild nine-minute round of claims and counterclaims that some observers doubted were true yet were delivered with such conviction that one could not help but to be swayed.
"My passport was handed to me by Xavier Bettel," Brush said. "He hugged me and said I'd integrated
better than anyone he knew."
"The Grand Duke rode a horse to my home to give me mine," Slora responded. "He stayed for dinner. We drank brandy and talked about model trains."
"Curious, my husband is the Grand Duke."
"How can he be your husband when he’s my father?"
"He told me he's going to give me the throne as a birthday present."
"Not possible because he already gave it to me. I've got the sceptre."
"Funny. We don't use sceptres. The one he gave you is plastic. I told him to do that as a joke."
"He told me he only married you because he felt bad for you."
"Not true."
"Is true."
"Not so."
"Yes."
"No."
Exhausted, the two expats nevertheless continued to verbally spar for the title of supreme expat. Eventually, Brush was forced to concede when Slora delivered a final blow.
"I don't care if you are married to the grand duke, and Melusina is your roommate," he said. "I own a house — in Luxembourg City."
"What?" Brush gasped.
"And it's all paid off, and we're buying another property to rent out," he proclaimed. "Or maybe we'll just sit on the land and let it appreciate. Or maybe we'll make it into an apple orchard."
"Have mercy," Brush responded. "I concede."
