© iStock
Do these people know something that most of us don’t? Was there some law passed that bans etiquette in confined spaces? We tried to find out.
There are plenty of mysteries that nag away at science-minded people in Luxembourg. For instance, why do those who own cars with only numbers on their license plates drive like that?
Also, is there a reason why some people can speak so many languages yet be so bad at making chitchat? And why does every workplace have a man who touches your arm whenever he talks to you?
Among these mysteries, there is one that seems nearly unsolvable: why do some people, when they are on the bus or in a café, put their mobile phones on speaker mode and hold them to their chins? Do they know something that most of us don’t? Was there some law passed that bans etiquette in confined spaces?
For more than a year, we roamed the country, exploring every village bar and remote fitness center, to ask these people one simple question: why? Here are the top answers:
18 percent: saw someone do it in a restaurant once, thought it made them look like an ass but also kind of important
15 percent: other person on the phone is actively confessing to a crime; would like to have some witnesses
11 percent: don’t actually have ears, so why pretend?
9 percent: have one ear, but it is located near bottom lip, strangely
8 percent: phone screen dirty, need discreet way to spit shine it while talking
5 percent: rebels gonna rebel
34 percent: “I have a total lack of social awareness, and this has plagued me since I was a child. Please, can you teach me the secrets of common sense?”
Note: before submitting this piece for publication, the Wurst did reach out to see if there was an official reason. Neither the International Society of Chin-Phone Talkers, the European Organization for Lovers of Speaking Loudly in Public, nor the Luxembourg Association for the Advocacy of Obnoxious Behavior responded to our inquiries.
