Despite years of petitions urging Luxembourg’s Chamber of Deputies to consider passing a law requiring restaurants to offer free tap water in addition to bottled water, the drive has gone nowhere.
Still, customers who dislike the idea of spending five euros for what is essentially the same stuff that comes out of your bathroom water faucet should not lose all hope. These five hacks are sure to get you free water.
‘Water for my dog’
Bring a big plastic bowl and ask for water for your dog. When the server fulfills your request, set the bowl on the table and drink it. For added fun, lean over and slurp it as if you were actually a golden retriever. Your dining companions can rub your head and say, “who’s a thirsty boy? Who’s a good boy?” If the server gives you a dirty look, growl and bite him.
‘Soup’s not soupy enough’
Order soup. Complain that it’s too thick and in a huffy voice, say, “just bring me a cup of water, garçon. I’ll fix it myself.” Drink the water. If you feel so inclined, explain, “it’s so thick and heavy in my belly that if I don’t act now, I’ll be constipated for days.”
‘A pastis please … oh, wait’
Order a pastis, ouzo, or any other aperitif spirit that needs to be mixed with water. The waiter will bring you the alcohol in a glass along with the most adorable little pitcher of water and a tiny spoon. With a note of amusement, remark, “Me, drink alcohol? I asked for a serviette.” When the confused waiter tries to take the items away, grab the little pitcher of water and don’t let go - no matter what.
This one requires some extra work, but it’s guaranteed to get everyone the free H20 they need. Make an arrangement with other customers that when you enter the restaurant, they all smile and take photos of you. The entire staff will be curious, so explain that you are a world-famous player of water-filled wine glasses. Would they like a free show? Of course they would. When they excitedly bring you the 25 glasses filled with varying amounts of water as you’ve requested, distribute them to each table in the restaurant. Everyone will cheer – except for the owner of the place.
Just ask for it
This trick might seem counter-intuitive considering all of the talk around petitions, the parliament, human rights, and laws, but you might just want to ask for a glass of water. Do restaurants really refuse? No one knows because no one ever tries.
Read more at Wurst.lu.