A man who moved to Luxembourg from another continent and was recently invited to a dinner party committed as many as 87 individual faux pas, all within the first hour of the evening, sources have confirmed.
If true, Paul Pinehead’s feat could be a new record, beating one set by Alex Kazimkhanov in 2016.
Pinehead opened his historic run by arriving 10 minutes early – while the hosts were still getting ready. When they did open the door, Pinehead failed to take off his shoes. Then, when the hosts requested that Pinehead do so, the expat happily agreed but also removed his socks.
Pinehead then handed the hosts a bottle of German wine, proudly announcing that he had just picked it up at the petrol station where it was on sale for only three euros, adding that it didn’t matter because the only reason people drink is to get drunk.
“Six faux pas during the first thirty seconds,” host Sonja Streff later said. “Amazing. I knew I was in the presence of someone very special.”
Pinehead then went on to skillfully commit as many as ten more faux pas, all in the course of a few minutes. He neglected to offer his hand, cheek, or even elbow to Streff, her partner Max Kloos, or any of the other guests who showed up on time.
He sat down without being asked to, asked for a drink before being offered one, and then failed to use a little toothpick when plucking olives out of a bowl of pickled nibbles. Most impressively, without permission, Pinehead gave himself a tour of the couple’s apartment.
“By that time, Max and I were really aware that we were in the presence of a true talent, so rather than try to orchestrate the evening or put up some barriers, we just let Paul show off in his full glory,” Streff said.
With a degree of social obliviousness rare for even the most unsavvy expats from the most remote corners of the earth, Pinehead continued making one blunder after another in rapid succession, much to the delight of everyone present.
“When it was time to eat, Paul took the chair at the end of the table that was meant for Max,” Streff said. “He opened own bottle of wine without getting permission from us. He later poured crémant in the red wine glasses, red wine in white wine glasses, white wine in the water glasses, and water directly into mouth.”
Pinehead also failed to clink glasses with any of the other guests and went on to hold his fork in the wrong hand. Soon after that, he began inquiring not only about everyone’s jobs but also their salaries, ethnic backgrounds, and political beliefs. Most impressively, he tore off a piece of bread instead of using the dedicated bread-cutting knife.
Streff and Kloos say it will take some time to make a verified record of all of Pinehead’s faux pas, but that the preliminary tally was 87.
“I’m proud that I may have set a new record, but honestly, it was easy,” Pinehead later said. “Actually, I had no idea.”
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