They say that first impressions are usually (correction: always) the right impressions. That’s why we have taken a rapid look at each party’s website to determine what they stand for – whether they know it or not.




This is the party for people who love going to see movies, and LSAP members have the cinema tickets to prove it. However, the party’s decision to feature vulgar street slang (“dat ass”) on their website might turn off some voters.



© DP

What’s not to like about a party that stands in support of giant dartboards and high fives? Both show that the DP is committed to leisure and fun. However, placing a tennis ball at the center of its logo might be taking the message too far.

Déi Gréng


© déi gréng

Sources tell us “du wëlls” means “you want.” Those words, combined with a video of a crazed rabbit staring at a pile of nuts, tell us Déi Gréng is the part of possessed forest animals who hear their food talking to them.




Our source for translation wasn’t available at the time of writing this, so we can only assume that the words on the CSV website mean “it wasn’t me” and “honestly, it wasn’t me,” probably in response to the question: who farted? We know who it was: the guy in the middle, obviously.

Déi Lénk


© déi Lénk

Unlike the other parties whose websites usually feature images of people in suits standing with their arms crossed, Déi Lénk prefers words: lots of them. What do they mean? Let’s just click

The button that says EN. Hmm, that doesn't work. Right, so “Walowend.” What does that mean? Magic wand? Halloween? Wallonia? Poor anglophones will never know.



© adr

Panoramic view of Luxembourg City: check. Green trees tickled with rays of sunlight: check. Blue skies with happy little clouds: check. Knowing nothing else, we can say that the ADR is the party of stock photos.



© istock/Piraten

Let’s be clear: this image is not from the Pirate Party Luxembourg’s website. What we found there was a generic stock photo of Luxembourg City. (See “ADR” above.) Come on, Pirate Party! You have the name. As long as you’re going with stock photos, at least use one of an actual pirate.



© Biergerlëscht

We had never heard of this party before. Biergerlëscht, interesting. According to Wikipedia, that means “Citizen’s List.” Sounds promising. Let’s just check out their website. Oops, error message. Maybe we didn’t type it correctly. Let’s just try again. Okay, maybe not.



© Fokus

To the average myope, at first glance the name Fokus appears as something totally inappropriate. Then you realize no, it’s telling you to “focus.” Their website contains a stock photo of Luxembourg City – but at night! Wait, no, look at the sky. It’s daytime. No, wait, all the homes have their lights on and the city is illuminated. What’s going on here? What is this twilight madness?