Sharing the kitchen space

Cooking is on the table. Especially as the festive period approaches and large banquets are prepared, here are some tips to avoid killing each other in the kitchen, whether partners, friends, family, housemates, or the dog.

Don’t (and while I would love to end the article there I don’t think my editors would be too happy) – have the same job. It’s unnecessary to have two people watching/preparing potatoes, and you’re bound to step on each other’s toes. Decide who is doing what and leave each other to it, no peeking. Looking over someone’s shoulder and getting anxious because a vegetable isn’t being peeled properly or having someone backseat cook while you are trying to complete a task (I am guilty of this) is odious and no one enjoys it (so I am told). If you do feel the need to point something out, say so in a positive reinforcement kind of way: “That’s a great chopping method! Fantastic! So well done! No one has ever chopped with such grace and natural talent! As you are already so skilled, let me show you this other great method that you can add to your repertoire, and you can practice by using only this one method forever more…”

Do – consider designating a head chef. Whoever decides on the recipe says who does what. Be polite, be respectful and appreciate your help. Even if it isn’t exactly the way you would have done it, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It’s just different, and in some cases it might even be better.

Don’t – micromanage. Again, guilty, so to save my relationship, I try to not even look at whatever task my partner is undertaking and leave him to it completely (maybe not completely, but I really try). I refer to my previous point: usually at the end it tastes exactly the same, and while the onion pieces might be slightly larger, a different shape, or not cut in the way that I have always cut them, it still tastes good.

Do – be open to suggestions. Everyone has learned different things in the kitchen, and it can actually be rather interesting letting someone else spice things up (sorry) and give your old staples a new twist.

Don’t – forget about the washing up. I would say it’s fair that sous-chef does the cleaning part and head chef gets to chill, but it’s always nice to lend a hand if you can or if there’s mountains of dishes.

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Do – communicate, clearly. If something needs to be done a certain way, explain it. If you need to tell the other person to move because you are holding something hot and heavy, ask them. People can’t mindread.

Don’t – be shy about taking it in turns to cook for each other. There often seems to be one person in a household who does most of the cooking, so it’s always nice to have a break from the kitchen and enjoy someone else’s recipes. Inspire each other!

Do – focus on what you’re good at and share that knowledge! If one person has more experience in a certain area or a particular type of dish, it make sense to cook to your strengths. If you can teach a little along the way, fantastic.

Don’t – forget to enjoy yourselves. When I grew up, cooking was always a time to connect and spend time with each other, and I’ve always really appreciated that. Cooking and eating together is a comforting, familiar feeling, and I associate it with love. While it’s easy to get stressed or annoyed in the preparation stage, think about the fact that you are doing something together, for yourselves. Put some music on, have a boogie while you’re stirring the sauce, do taste tests, sneak a hug in there, flick some water at them – be serious about taking yourselves lightly!

And, if all else fails,

Do – just get a take away.