If you petition, go big

What do you do when you’re in bed with the flu, have a head full of mucus, the only things coming out of your brain are slimy slitherings and you have an article to produce? I could tear out my hair in frustration, but I rather like my hair. Screaming, however gratifying, is pointless, because it doesn’t give me an article. So, I have found solace online, in the shape of the website of petitions.

Yes, I confess. This is a newfound interest of mine, a guilty pleasure if you will: to see what kind of ideas our fellow countrymen come up with and how popular their ideas are. I can tell you, currently many ideas do not seem too popular...

The fun thing is that they also give a bit of insight into the minds of those living in Luxembourg.

For example, one such petition aims to make helmets compulsory for cyclists. It’s been on there a little over a month, there’s only ten days left to sign and the last time I checked, only 195 of the necessary 4500 signatures had come in. That’s only 4%.

I get it. I don’t want a helmet on my head when I am on my bicycle. I am Dutch after all. I basically cycled out of my mother’s uterus, and I have never in my life put on a helmet whilst on a bicycle in the Netherlands.

According to this petition, Luxembourgers agree with me and do not want to be forced into wearing a helmet either.

Or how about the petition that wants a law that allows civilians to quickly and discretely inform the police when a drugs sale takes place, with the help of a special app. Basically it’s a snitch app. Of course, snitching is a negative thing; no one wants to be known as a snitch. But the goal is good: get drugs dealers off the street by catching them in the act.

Well, our fellow civilians do not seem to mind too much. And they certainly do not want to snitch to the police. Or these drug deals take place in only a few spots and the number of people that are confronted with it (unwillingly) is just too small. How do I know this? Because there are only ten days left for this petition to get on the parliament’s agenda and it only has 53 signatures so far. That’s 1%.

One petition that is doing slightly better hopes to accomplish that the government will supply free vitamin kits to all households during the winter season. The arguments are that we all need to remain healthy and boost our immune system during the autumn/winter season. As my nose is currently on non-stop leaking mode, I must say, a boost for my immune system sounds rather nice.

But asking the government to fund that? Should it really be up to the government to provide all its citizens with Vitamine D3, K2, C, magnesium and calcium. I am not an expert, but to my knowledge, magnesium helps fall asleep and aids the bowel movement. I don’t think it does a whole lot to boost overall health. I have the feeling that this person is just trying to get the government to pay a part of her vitamin wish-list. And she has a few supporters: 150 people have signed. She still has 35 days to get her remaining 97%...

It makes me wonder if, in this case, certain individuals rely too much on the government? Surely, they cannot be held responsible for handing out vitamins? What’s next? Initiate a petition to demand our leaders to pay for warm woolen socks?

That’s a slippery slope. Before you know it, you’ll have the citizens of Luxembourg demanding government to pay for their winter coats and duvets. And then the season changes and you’ll have petitioners asking for government funded sunscreen, free access to pools for the sake of keeping their heads cool and sun protective bathing gear because preventing skin cancer is a government affair.

Right…

I wonder what will happen with this vitamin petition. I think the answer is: nothing, although this is mainly based on hope.

Looking at these numbers, I suspect that many petitions end up in a bin.

Have we stopped caring and do we no longer want to get invested in anything anymore? Or are these petitions just bullocks. Well, some for sure, I’d say. But maybe, my earlier assumption is wrong. Maybe the lack of response says nothing about the opinion of Luxembourgers. Maybe, people simply don’t know that these petitions are out there.

I am an active social media user. I have never seen any petition directed at the Luxembourgish government pop-up in my socials. I have never seen an email asking my attention for any petition. And I am sure that I am not the only one. A quick survey amongst my friends shows that none but one are aware of the petition site.

So, to all those poor souls who want to change something, have a positive impact on society and go about that via a petition, please change your strategy. If you have a pressing matter in which you think the government should play a leading role, go big. If you have an issue that you think is important enough to go through the trouble of setting up a petition, then please, for your own sake as for that of the petition, take the time to share it as widely as possible.

Because looking at the petitions, most feel like a total waste of time and energy. Poor petitioners.