Sun was sweating bullets. Stepping out onto the stage and into the harsh glare of the spotlight, Sun was squinting hard.
Sun chuckled at the irony. Sun was used to others having to shield their eyes.
Sun had paced up and down the green room. Going over the script again and again.
This was a change of career that had surprised many.
Stand up comedy? Really!?
Anyway, the club had been booked months ago. Some tawdry spit and sawdust place. You'd not want CSI to bring their black light here, it would find far too many ancient crimes.
The applause was mild, like an average July day mild as Sun shuffled to the centre of the stage where a stool stood next to a tripod for the microphone.
It looked like the loneliest place in the world.
There was a glass of water on the floor and Sun loved how the light shone through it, catching little bubbles and the dance of the dust settling
What had Sun really expected...a photoshoot for the cover of Hello! magazine? Sun's written in lights and not in marker pen on a torn on sheet of paper taped to a window.
Yeah...Sun had actually...just a little bit.
The silence was deafening after the skin from a few dozen hands stopped colliding in rhythm.
The confidence that Sun had from the necked Vodka Lemons was vanishing.
Sun's throat was dry.
Sun fumbled in empty pockets. Picked at the lint.
Sun tried to find a person in the crowd to focus on.
Imagine them not wearing trousers.
Sun was clamming up. This was going to be a disaster.
All those hours Travis Bickle style... 'You talking to me?', in front of the mirror. All the imagined compliments and the cheering. All those images swam and flailed.
Sun gulped and began:
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? - Thunderwear!
Why did the man only wear one welly boot into town? - He heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
What’s a tornado’s favourite game? Twister!
People began grinning. Slowly, mind you.
This was so bad it was actually good. From the audience perspective, at least.
Sun, by now, just wanted to get to the end and get the hell outta there.
Why shouldn’t you start a fight with a cloud? - He’ll storm out on you.
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain? - A drizzly!
What is the opposite of a cold front? - A warm back.
People were laughing now...at or with Sun, Sun could not be sure.
Sun had but two more to go...
What do you get if you cross a shark with ice? - Frostbite.
This one had to hit! Had to be the closer.
What do you have to do to win gold at the weather forecasting competition? - You have to beat the raining champion!
Sun dropped the mic. Turned 180 degrees and made a swift exit.
The audience applauded, politely as they reached for their phones and their mixers, or their partners hands and knees.
Sun felt happy.